Chabad Kehot Chumash

The Chabad Kehot Chumash is a beautiful work and the Lubavitcher Rebbe's commentary is reflective of a man who is a "thinker" and a "big talmid chocham" as Rabbi Avigdor Miller described him.

So I was disappointed to see on page 435, Shemos 19:3 the statement "women are more naturally predisposed toward spirituality." I thought, the Rebbe couldn't have said this. It's a modern day feminist myth that has spread throughout much of the Orthodox world. I checked the footnote and sure enough the source given is not the Rebbe. It's Maharal, Derush Al Torah. 

So is the Maharal the source? No, he is not. All he says in Derush Al Torah is that women as receivers are more ready to receive their reward. Men are more aggressive and need Torah to help tame that aggressiveness to ready them to receive their reward. This is not a statement regarding general spirituality. It could be that male aggressiveness, when applied properly, is a good tool for uncovering spirituality as we find with limud Torah. 

However, the Maharal says in many other places that the male is more spiritual and operates on a higher plane. For example:

Maharal, Gur Aryeh, Vayikra 12:2, beginning of parshas Tazriah.

Chidushei Agados, Makos 23b

Chidushei Agados, Baba Matzia 59a

Chidushei Agados, Nidah 45b

Derech Chaim 1:5

Derech Chaim 2:9

Tiferes Yisrael 28

Tiferes Yisrael 4

Some excerpts:

"Rav Tachlifa says, it is fitting to proceed with women first (regarding the receiving of the Torah). And this is because the decree and the command from Hashem, may He be blessed, to man who receives it, is the covenant and the connection of Hashem to man, who received the decree. And this is explained in many places. And since the man is more fitting to the covenant and the connection with Hashem, may He be blessed, since the woman is more physical, and the level of the woman is not like that of the man, therefore, the man was commanded first since his level was close to Hashem, may He be blessed....And afterwards the man was commanded his connection and his level are greater than that of the woman." Maharal, Tiferes Yisroel 28

"And now we can understand that woman who is material is obligated to observe the Negative Commandments but is not obligated in all the Positive Commandments. That is because the spiritual level of women does not reach to the highest level - which is the level of the Positive Commandments that a woman would function fully - because she is material." Maharal, Chidushei Agados, Makos 23b

"After the Mishnah mentions possessions, as they are relevant to a man, it says 'more wives more witchcraft.' Reference to the woman comes after that of possessions because the man needs the woman to take care of his house. And it says that she increases witchcraft. Even if he is married to Avigail. Certainly, kosher Jewish women don’t practice witchcraft. Nevertheless, she leans towards witchcraft as it is a lower level of being. Witchcraft is found more in women. Because of the lowness of the level of witchcraft it is found in women since they are lower in the level. Witchcraft comes from the power of materialism that is found in women. Therefore, witchcraft only works when a person is standing on the earth. Therefore, increase of women brings a man to the level of witchcraft. And even if she doesn’t actually practice witchcraft, nevertheless, he will lean towards the lowness and lacking due to the increase of wives since their increase will tend him towards the lowness of witchcraft." Maharal, Derech Chaim 2:8

"All those who follow the advice of their wife fall into Gehinom – This is truly incredible. We explain this also in relationship to Avos (1:5), All those who talk a lot with their wives are idle from words of Torah and in the end they inherit Gehinom. You should know that the woman is compared to Substance while the man is compared to the Form in every place. And when the Form is not separated from the Substance but rather the Form follows after the Substance entirely – he falls in Gehinom. That is because it is well known that the deficit is attached and bound with the Substance. This is alluded to by the Sages when they noted that when the woman was created the Samech was created with her. Because we don’t find the letter Samech in the Torah until the woman was created. ויסגר בשר תחתנה Bereishis (2:21) and closed up the flesh. That teaches you that with the woman was attached the deficit which is Satan who is the Angel of Death. When the Form follow after the Substance the Form obtains the deficit. That is because Gehinom is only the complete deficit as we learn from the names Gehinom itself." Maharal,  Bava Metzia 59a.

"And because the feminine leans towards the physical, her completion does not reside with the distinctly spiritual matters. Certainly she has these (purely spiritual traits) but not as much." Derech Chaim 2:9 (on the Mishnah: Amar lehem tzoo u’rahoo) d’h’ U’Mizeh.

In addition to the Maharal, there are numerous other commentators who make similar comments asserting the higher spiritualty of the male. They include the following:

Akeidas Yitzchak (Chapter 6)

Abarbanel (Bereshis, Chapter 1)

the Baal Magen Avraham (Ziet Ra'anan on Yalkut Shemoni, Shmuel 1:1)

Vilna Gaon (Even Shelaimah 1:8)

Rav Tzadock (Dover Tzedeck p. 119)

Baal Shevet Musar (Midrash Talpiyos, Ohs Aleph, Anaf Isha)

Certainly, there are areas where women excel: emunah peshuta, moral purity (Rav Hirsch), tranquility (Maharal), initiation of teshuva (Chasom Sofer), and feeling hashgacha pratis (Rebbe Maharash). However, the statement that they are more naturally predisposed toward spirituality is incorrect in my estimation. I would be very interested to see a Torah source that makes such a statement. I understand the temptation to buy off feminist complaints about the Torah by saying women are better than men. But it just isn't true. The Maharal in particular is very clear about that.

Yocheved

The Torah then lists and counts Jacob’s family – children and grandchildren – noting that they totaled 70 people. The 70th and youngest in this census was Levi’s daughter Yocheved, whom we will meet later as the mother of Moses.

כָּל הַנֶּפֶשׁ לְבֵית יַעֲקֹב הַבָּאָה מִצְרַיְמָה שִׁבְעִים: (בראשית מו:כז)

The total of Jacob’s household who came to Egypt was 70 persons. Genesis 46:27

By descending into the Egyptian exile, the Jewish people began the process of elevating and transforming the 70 nations of the world. Yocheved’s birth just before Jacob’s family entered Egypt brought their number to 70, thus enabling Jacob to begin the mission of refining the 70 nations.

The process of transforming the world is twofold: first, we must cure the world of its opposition to holiness, and then, we must transform it into holiness. The former is the “masculine,” assertive approach, whereas the latter is the “feminine,” nurturing approach.

Thus, the commandments entrusted to women – ensuring that the family is nourished in accordance with the Torah’s laws, ensuring the safety and spiritual warmth of the home (as exemplified by kindling the Sabbath candles), and sanctifying marital life – are all ways of transforming the mundane aspects of ordinary human life into expressions of holiness.1

FOOTNOTES
1.	Likutei Sichot, vol. 20, pp. 218 ff. 7th Lubavitcher Rebbe Translated and Adapted by Moshe Wisnefsky

What factors should a man look for in a girl in deciding whether to marry her? r miller

 

QUESTION:   What factors should a man look for in a girl in deciding whether to marry her?

ANSWER: I spoke about this about a dozen times, so I'll say it briefly again just to please this person.      First of all, she has to be a girl that agrees with his opinions. She has to be m'kabel Ol Malchus Shamayim, she wants to live a frum Jewish life. Never marry with the intention and the hope of changing her – forget about it.      Secondly, she has to be a girl that's healthy – physically and mentally; and in case you're not, you can't be choosy. If you are physically and mentally healthy, then watch out! Be careful whom you marry.      Thirdly, she has to have good character; a good character is very rare – very rare. You'll think she has good character, you'll know better a little later. However do the best you can, ascertain her character. Ask the teachers in the Bais Yaakov School that she attended; sometimes they'll tell you part of the truth. If they say very enthusiastically, so deduct 90%, and it might be worth marrying her. If they're not enthusiastic, and just say she's a fine girl, then forget about it.      If possible, she should come from a good family, because a family in the background has a big influence. If it's not the right kind of a family, then who knows what's going to happen to your children? You want to have good grandparents if possible, good uncles and aunts if possible. So if she could come from a good family, it's worthwhile, too.      It's very important to marry a girl from the same environment as you come from. That's why marry a girl who's in the same country, don't marry a girl from another country. Sometimes it's successful, but there's always a strain on the marriage; always. A man and a woman are two different nationalities; the gemara says that a man and a woman are really two different nations, Noshim am b'fnei atzmom heim (Shabbos 60A). And to put more of a strain on that is not necessary.      So always marry people from the same background. They have the same interests, they have the same kind of food they eat, the same customs; that makes it easier to remain married successfully. It's a very important point.

How Do Women Achieve Perfection?

 How Do Women Achieve Perfection?

“Greater is the assurance which the Holy One blessed be He gave to women, more than to the men.” (Brachos 17A).

Greater is the assurance which the Holy One blessed be He gave to women, more than to the men.” (Brachos 17A).

Men have more tests to undergo, and more complicated responsibilities. In addition, men are more readily motivated by the desire for glory, whereas “the tranquil women and the trusting daughters” (ibid.) seek no fame and compete with no one. The Jewish wife and mother can more readily achieve her destiny through her home, and she can most successfully find favor in G-d's sight by cherishing the womanly virtues of humility, patience, peace and trust in G-d’s providence. — Awake, My Glory

Lub. Rebbe - Sarah

  (בראשית כא:יב)

G-d said to Abraham, “ . . . Whatever Sarah tells you, heed her voice.” Genesis 21:12

The more attuned a prophet is to the affairs of this world, the greater his or her degree of prophecy. Since Abraham was somewhat detached from worldly matters, he could not perceive Ishmael’s true negativity. Sarah, in contrast, was more involved in worldly matters, so she readily was able to perceive Ishmael’s evil. Her prophetic vision was therefore superior to Abraham’s.

Furthermore, we are taught that in the Messianic Era, the feminine aspect of creation will rise above the masculine. Abraham’s and Sarah’s spiritual refinement was so lofty that it enabled them to experience a foretaste of the Messianic Era. For this reason, too, Sarah’s prophetic vision was superior to Abraham’s.

Nowadays, as we approach the Messianic Era, all of us can welcome the flowering of feminine power in the world, acknowledging that women’s more intense experience of physical life grants them a higher level of spiritual insight than that given to men.1

FOOTNOTES
1.	Likutei Sichot, vol. 1, p. 31.

Rav Avigdor Miller on Light Headed Women Save The Day

 Rav Avigdor Miller on Light Headed Women Save The Day

Q:

How is the statement nashim daatan kalos, that women have light minds, explained?

A:

And the answer is that women are not stubborn. And it’s a wonder, it’s a miracle that they’re not. Because why should she marry you? You propose to her – what do you have to offer? Many times it’s a miracle that any man gets married. You look at his face and listen to him talk, and you’re surprised that he got married. But he found some foolish girl who took him. Almost every fool finds a foolish woman that accepts him. And that’s nashim daatan kalos, women are light headed. 

And even after they married, they’re light headed in the sense that even though sometimes they’re wronged, sometimes they’re insulted, but it's not so hard to win over an angry wife. To win over an angry husband is a more difficult job. Men are more stubborn and women are more yielding. That’s what it means; their minds are lighter – they’re more yielding. And it’s a very great advantage in the family because when there are quarrels, it’s usually the woman who takes the first step to placate the husband.  Otherwise, when you have an embittered woman, a stubborn woman, so you know you’re headed for divorce. It’s a great blessing that woman are daatan kalos. 

Now, it doesn’t mean in a negative sense, that their minds are lightheaded, that they don’t have sense. In a certain sense it’s the opposite – the gemara says that bina yeseira nitna lenashim, that women have a stronger understanding; they can have intuition in certain areas where many men will do foolish things, dangerous things, and even risk their parnasa and sometimes their lives, whereas a woman sees through it right away. 

Here is a man who got a bump on his car from somebody driving behind him. So he gets out bristling and shouting. But he made a mistake because now there comes out from the other car a very big man. But he wants to maintain his bluff, so he raises his fists. And his wife sees that there’s tzaros. So his wife screams and drags him back to the car.

Now, that’s the worst thing that could be; it’s a big shame for him to retreat. But his wife is pulling him, so he acts like he’s yielding to her and he gratefully climbs back into the car. You see this always on the street. Because with a little bit of common sense a woman can look through all the falsehood of men’s artificial lives. To him, to win the battle of staring him down, that’s more important than saving his life. But to her, to save him from getting being beaten up is more important than winning the staring battle. That’s what it means nashim daatan kalos.

TAPE # 427

San 22

 The Gemara asks: Is that so that it is this difficult to find a match? But doesn’t Rav Yehuda say that Rav says: Forty days before the formation of the fetus a Divine Voice emerges and states: The daughter of so-and-so shall be the wife of so-and-so? Why should matching them be so difficult, since they are prepared for this from before their birth? The Gemara responds: This is not difficult. This latter statement, about predestined matches, is stated with regard to the first match; that former statement, about the difficulty of matchmaking, is stated with regard to the second match.  

Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥman says: For everything that is lost there is a substitute, except for one’s wife from youth who dies, as it is stated: “And a wife from youth, can she be rejected?” (Isaiah 54:6). Rav Yehuda taught Rav Yitzḥak, his son: A man finds calmness of spirit only from his first wife, as it is stated: “Let your fountain be blessed and have joy with the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). Rav Yitzḥak, his son, said to him: Such as whom? Rav Yehuda said to him: Such as your mother.

 Rav Shmuel bar Unya says in the name of Rav: A woman is raw material, like a vessel that has not been completed, and makes a covenant, becoming truly connected, only to the one who made her a vessel through her first act of sexual intercourse, as it is stated: “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name” (Isaiah 54:5).  San 22