This is not a prayer of thanks that God did not make us heathens, slaves or women. Rather, it calls upon us to contemplate the task which God has imposed upon us by making us free Jewish men, and to pledge ourselves to do justice to this mission. These three aspects of our own status impose upon us duties much more comprehensive than those required of the rest of mankind. And if our women have a smaller number of מצות to fulfill than men, they know that the tasks which they must discharge as free Jewish women are no less in accordance with the will and desire of God than are those of their brothers.
[Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, Siddur]
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Woman is freed from a number of positive commands the observance of which depends on a certain time of the day or season of the year. The Jewish man thanks the Lord for having a much greater platform of duties. But woman has an excellent argument. She is willing to recognize the larger quantity of her husband's obligations. Her major duties have to do with the spirit of the home and the education of the children which are decisive for the welfare of the family and the future of the nation. What she loses in quantity, she more than regains in quality. It is therefore that with a smile on her lips and deep satisfaction in her heart, she blesses the Lord, "Who has made me according His will."
[R' Leo Jung, Between Man and Man p. 22]
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Anyone who is familiar with the high esteem in which the Jewish woman is held in the Torah, and with the place which she occupies in Jewish life, will not be foolish enough to think that this blessing cases a (negative) reflection on Jewish womanhood. Suffice it to mention that in the era of prophecy, there were seven prophetesses mentioned by name in the T'NaCh. They were: Sarah, Miriam, Devorah, Hannah, Abigail, Huldah and Esther. Sarah, the Torah tells us, was in some respects even superior to Abraham, for G-d told Abraham, "All that Sarah will tell you, listen to her." Moreover, our Sages of the Mishnah and Talmud frequently emphasized the moral strength and spiritual excellence of the Jewish woman. They reminded us that it was in the merit of the righteous Jewish women that the children of Israel were liberated from Egyptian bondage; that at the giving of the Torah, the women were approached first; that women had no part in the Golden Calf, but at the building of the Sanctuary the women were the most generous; that they had a leading part in the miracles of Purim and Chanukah, etc., etc. History also records that throughout the long martyrology of our people in exile, Jewish women faced death with the same courage as the men, and sometimes greater, in their devotion to G-d and the Torah and the Jewish way of life.
Thus, when the Jew makes the blessing thanking G-d for not making him a woman, he does not say these words with any feeling of superiority, but quite for another reason, as will be made clear presently.
In the nature of things, the husband's task is to be the breadwinner, while the wife has to take care of the home and the children, and to manage the whole household. This is a very complicated task, requiring a great deal of skill, patience, understanding, and many other high qualities, which Divine Providence so generously bestowed upon the women. It is doubtful whether any executive position which the husband may hold requires greater skill and is more exacting than the domestic responsibilities of the wife and mother.
In view of the above, the Divine Torah has exempted the Jewish woman from the obligation to fulfill certain Mitzvoth. She is equally with her husband duty-bound to observe all the prohibitions of the Torah, the "don'ts" (and these are in the majority-365 don'ts to 248 do's). However, in regard to the positive commandments, the Jewish woman is excused from the fulfillment of some of them (by no means all), mainly those which have a time factor or limit, out of consideration for her important wifely and motherly duties to which the Torah gives precedence.
In this respect, therefore, the Jewish woman is rather "privileged" than "underprivileged."
However, the male Jew, who has not been given the special privileges enjoyed by the Jewish woman, has something to compensate for them, namely, the opportunity to commune with G-d more frequently through the fulfillment of those Mitzvoth from which the Jewish woman is exempt. This is no small compensation, and it is for this reason-for the opportunity to serve G-d with these additional Mitzvoth-that the male Jew makes the blessing, "Who has not made me a woman."
[Rabbi Nissan Mindel, As For Me, My Prayer, 1975, pp. 45-47.]
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All Jewish men must observe the positive time-bound commandments. When Jewish men and women say שֶׁלֹּא עָשַֽׂנִי נכרי ("Who has not made me a gentile"), they are thanking God that they have more than the seven Noachide laws to fulfill. When Jewish men say שֶׁלֹּא עָשַֽׂנִי אִשָּׁה ('Who has not made me a woman'), they are thanking God for the extra commandments that they are obligated to do. They are not supposed to feel superior to women by saying this; rather, they are supposed to overcome any resentment they might have because they have the burden of extra obligations.
Many women feel uncomfortable about the men's blessing. In the Middle Ages, women gave expression to this discomfort by adding the blessing שֶׁעָשַֽׂנִי כִּרְצוֹנוֹ ("Who has made me according to divine will"). Many years ago, Rav Soloveitchik noted that Rebbe Meir taught us the blessings of formation. Rabbi Meir's wife was Bruria, a most extraordinary woman who was a scholar in her own right. Whenever she felt that her husband was wrong in Talmudic learning, she hold him so, and he accepted her word. He clearly did not view her as his inferior.
There is another historical reason that Jewish men said this blessing, again relating to the need to learn not to resent an extra burden. The Romans forbade the study of Torah because they knew it prevented Jews from assimilating. The Romans executed any man who was caught studying or teaching Torah. Rabbi Akiva was murdered in those days, as was the father of Bruria, Chaninah ben Tradyon. Women were frequently captured (such as Bruria's sister), who was put in a brothel), but they were not executed.
Women as well as men became martyrs during the first Crusade, however. When the great communities of Worms, Speyer, and Mainz were massacred the Christians did not make any distinction between the men and women. All were massacred equally.
When Rabbi Meir saw what happened to his father-in-law, he introduced the blessing for men. He was expressing gratitude that men were given the "opportunity" to die for God. When the Crusaders in the Middle Ages started massacring all Jews, including women, the women introduced the blessing for women, because they too now had this "opportunity."
[Rabbi Isaiah Wohlgemuth, Guide to Jewish Prayer, pp. 45-6.]
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