This Shabbos I came across the book "Why Should I Stand Behind the Mechitzah if I Could Be a Prayer Leader?" Certainly, explaining Torah to non-observant woman is a daunting task, one that gets harder by the decade no doubt. The author is to commended for her efforts and the many interesting ideas in the book.
However, I did want to comment on the explanation offered for the exemption of women from time bound commandments. I realize that it has become common in kiruv world to explain men's obligation in those commandments as being due to spiritual deficiency in men, but this appears to conflict with classic sources on the matter. R' Moshe Feinstein explains that obligation in commandments stems from one's possession of holiness. He notes that men and women are equal in holiness and that women have the necessary holiness to be obligated. However, the Torah exempts them for reasons of household duties. (Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim, IV, 49)
The book cites the reason of taking care of children in the name of the Abudraham. The Abrudraham actually says that the Torah exempts the woman to make peace between her and her husband. Since the wife is in the husband's domain, he could direct her to household activities that conflict with the performance of those mitzvos. Just as Hashem allows his name to be erased for the sake of peace in the matter of the Sotah waters, He allows the exemption from mitzvos for peace in the home. Raising children may be part of the reason, but the larger part is being under the authority of the husband, a part of a Torah view of marriage that the book in general appears not to recognize.
The book also cites the Maharal as saying that men are obligated in Torah study and mitzvos to combat their aggressiveness. The Maharal actually doesn't mention mitzvos in his comments on male aggressiveness. He only mentions Torah study. (Drosh Al HaTorah 27) Certainly, combating male aggressiveness is not the only reason for Torah study. It's one reason. As for mitzvos, the Maharal says that men are obligated because they are more spiritual than women. He explains this using the philosophical concepts of tzurah and chomer. Tzurah is spiritual form. Chomer is physicality. Spiritual form gives spiritual shape to physicality. The Maharal compares the male to tzurah and the female to chomer. As the positive time-bound commandments also constitute tzurah, men are obligated in them. (Tiferes Israel 4) Elsewhere, the Maharal says that mitzvos are a reflection of Hashem. Since men are more b'tzelem Elokim, they are obligated in more mitzvos. (Chidushei Agados, Makkos 23b) I don't recommend sharing these comments of the Maharal with the public. However, if you are going to present his reasons for the obligation of men and the exemption of women, these are the reasons he gives.
The book did not give the reason of the Magen Avraham. He says that women are exempt because their yetzer tov is smaller and if obligated they likely would not comply. (Zi'es Ra'anan on Yalkut Shimoni, Shmuel 1:1).
In my estimation, the explanations of 20th century gadolim are best fit for the contemporary public. They include R' Moshe Feinstein, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and R' Avidgor Miller. All say that men and women are equal and the exemption is due to our having different roles. While this book in some places describes men and women as being equal (which is better than many English books on this topic) it resorts to apologetics and the disparaging portrayal men in its explanation of the exemption, as I have tried to explain. So while the book makes a noble effort to move people from feminism to Torah, it does fall short in this regard.
The book offers also a peculiar presentation of obligations regarding marital relations. The book says that neither sex may punish the other by withholding sex but that there is not an obligation on the woman similar to onah. This is not correct. While the Torah obligation of onah falls only on the man, the Rambam says that not only should the wife not punish him by withholding but that she should respond to him "whenever he wants." (Hilchos Ishos 15:18). I think it's fair to surmise that the Torah makes a specific commandment regarding women's sexual needs because they can be quite subtle. A man's are so obvious that a commandment is not necessary. However, a male's need is in many respects a more serious matter since the male is burdened with the difficult issur against spilling seed, a sin the kitzur Shulchan Aruch calls the worst of a sins.
