why don't women sit in the succah

 1:22:20 271 - Tenants in This World

his answer basically is she is busy with babies

immodest attire

 In fairness to the fake frum women and their immodest attire, their inexcusable lapse in observance isn't coming from nowhere. Most of the frum world is very weak in emunah these days. the husbands dress more modestly than the wives, but aren't necessarily filling the house with yiras shemayim. These things all go together. Unfortunately, even among the supposedly frummer people today, there has developed an equation of being frum with going to daf yomi class. all the other mitzvos and especially yiras Hashem have been lost. In many ways, the immodest attire is a symptom of a deeper problem.

Rav Avigdor Miller on A Woman’s Olam Haboh

 Toras Avigdor, [26.04.21 19:44]

Rav Avigdor Miller on A Woman’s Olam Haboh

Q:

Do women get a separate Olam Haboh or do they share it with their husband?

A:

The answer is, Olam Haboh is never the same for any two individuals. It's not the same for any two individuals. מלמד שכל צדיק וצדיק יש לו חופה לפי כבודו – Each tzadik has a canopy according to his glory, according to what he deserves. Nobody is the same in Olam Haboh. 

Now the question is, women in general, will they have a lesser kind of glory than men? And the answer is certainly not. Each person has opportunities and will be rewarded exactly according to the way he or she utilizes those opportunities.

The truth is that women have a promise that men don't have. It says גדולה הבטחה – Greater is the promise that Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave to women. And that means as follows: Women are not subject to the difficulties that men have – and they don't have all the opportunities that man have. 

One example: Men have opportunity, and also a drive, for more arrogance. A man has a beard; a beard makes the chin look bigger, you have to know that. A beard gives you a big chin; it makes you look more authoritative. Whereas women are humble; they more resemble young people, they more resemble children. They are more modest, more retiring than men by nature.

Everybody knows, if you have boys and girls among your children you know that the boys are the ones that you get the most Olam Haboh for raising. A woman with a lot of boys, it’s said about her that will not see the pischo shel Gehenom. She won’t see even the entrance of Gehenom because she has it already in this world.

Now, I suppose it’s fun too – finally you'll marry off all your sons and the other party will have to make the chasuna and give the dowry if you have sons. But it’s a few years till you marry them off and raising sons is a big job because sons are more pugnacious. No question about that boys have a fighting spirit that girls don't have. 

Boys however, because of this drive, they can accomplish more than girls and that's why they're given more opportunities than girls outside the home.  Women are loaded down with responsibilities of a home; you can't leave your children and run to shachris – you have to stay home and take care of the children. And that’s their nature – Hashem gave them certain instincts that are best utilized in the home. The instinct of rachmonus, pity. The word rachamim comes from the word rechem; that's a womanly instinct, to have pity. And also a love for children and so on. So women can become great in the sphere of her home – but they don’t have the opportunities and dangers that men have. 

Men go out in a conflict. Sometimes there is a machlokes even between chachomim, between sages. And sometimes the machlokes leads to other things besides pure Torah machlokes, and there's a big responsibility there. Shaul and Dovid were both big tzadikim but Shaul was misled to some extent by his manliness, by his desire to remain a king. He felt it was his responsibility and to a certain extent he was misled by that. The queen of Shaul and the queen of Dovid didn’t have any fights between themselves. Neither of them were pugnacious; they didn’t have the arrogance that Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave to males. So גדולה הבטחה – greater is the promise that is given to women. 

It says נשים שעננות בוטחות – Quiet daughters, daughters who are trusting. It means Hakodosh Boruch Hu said, “You can trust in Me because your reward is more guaranteed.”

However, men can achieve more greatness, because if they utilize their more violent natures, their drive, they can become greater. But it’s a bigger danger too.

However, in a certain sense women and men are partners in the reward of Olam Haboh. Because in addition to the first principle of each one being rewarded according to his opportunities – a woman can become great in her life just like men become great in their lives – but there is also another area where they share their reward. And that's when a woman is married to a man who forges ahead in serving Hashem and she serves in the background; with

Toras Avigdor, [26.04.21 19:44]

ouragement and he needs also a home, he needs all the wherewithal of life to enable him to continue. And certainly if she is the one to inspires him to even more effort, then surely. So therefore here is an opportunity for women to be sharers even in the achievements of men.

Woman also can achieve by means of their sons or if they marry off their daughters to sons in law. It's a greatness for women when their children, or their grandchildren, or their sons in law pursue da'as Hashem and are oisek in Torah and in mitzvos; it's all credited to the parents, men and women.

So therefore we'll sum up now in two ways the answer to this.

Women on their own are rewarded according to their opportunities and nobody is going to lose because he wasn't made a man or wasn't made a woman; each person will be rewarded according to his or her opportunities.

But in addition, there are some things that men and women share together because they are partners. Like Rabbi Akiva. When Rabbi Akiva came back after twenty four years and he became a national Torah leader, and everybody came to pay homage to him, so Rabbi Akiva said דילי ודלכון דיליה – “My Torah and the Torah that you learnt from me, is all hers,” and he pointed to this woman Rochel, his wife whom he hadn't seen in twenty four years. He said, “This woman is responsible for all the Torah that I have, and all the Torah that you learnt from me.”

So now you when you look back on our history, the gemora says about Rabbi Yehuda, Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Shimon, Rabbi Elazar ben Shamua and Rabbi Yosi, that all of them were talmidim of Rabbi Akiva. And the Gemara says that all of our Torah comes from these five sages who were disciples of Rabbi Akiva. But Rabbi Akiva himself was the result, he was the creation that was brought into being by the spirit of one woman, Rochel. So here now Rochel, the wife of Rabbi Akiva, is actually the rebbe of the Jewish nation.

So it's possible for women to attain that second form of greatness in addition to her nature and instincts and characteristics that give her opportunity to gain perfection of her own.

TAPE # 382

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Chabad Kehot Chumash

The Chabad Kehot Chumash is a beautiful work and the Lubavitcher Rebbe's commentary is reflective of a man who is a "thinker" and a "big talmid chocham" as Rabbi Avigdor Miller described him.

So I was disappointed to see on page 435, Shemos 19:3 the statement "women are more naturally predisposed toward spirituality." I thought, the Rebbe couldn't have said this. It's a modern day feminist myth that has spread throughout much of the Orthodox world. I checked the footnote and sure enough the source given is not the Rebbe. It's Maharal, Derush Al Torah. 

So is the Maharal the source? No, he is not. All he says in Derush Al Torah is that women as receivers are more ready to receive their reward. Men are more aggressive and need Torah to help tame that aggressiveness to ready them to receive their reward. This is not a statement regarding general spirituality. It could be that male aggressiveness, when applied properly, is a good tool for uncovering spirituality as we find with limud Torah. 

However, the Maharal says in many other places that the male is more spiritual and operates on a higher plane. For example:

Maharal, Gur Aryeh, Vayikra 12:2, beginning of parshas Tazriah.

Chidushei Agados, Makos 23b

Chidushei Agados, Baba Matzia 59a

Chidushei Agados, Nidah 45b

Derech Chaim 1:5

Derech Chaim 2:9

Tiferes Yisrael 28

Tiferes Yisrael 4

Some excerpts:

"Rav Tachlifa says, it is fitting to proceed with women first (regarding the receiving of the Torah). And this is because the decree and the command from Hashem, may He be blessed, to man who receives it, is the covenant and the connection of Hashem to man, who received the decree. And this is explained in many places. And since the man is more fitting to the covenant and the connection with Hashem, may He be blessed, since the woman is more physical, and the level of the woman is not like that of the man, therefore, the man was commanded first since his level was close to Hashem, may He be blessed....And afterwards the man was commanded his connection and his level are greater than that of the woman." Maharal, Tiferes Yisroel 28

"And now we can understand that woman who is material is obligated to observe the Negative Commandments but is not obligated in all the Positive Commandments. That is because the spiritual level of women does not reach to the highest level - which is the level of the Positive Commandments that a woman would function fully - because she is material." Maharal, Chidushei Agados, Makos 23b

"After the Mishnah mentions possessions, as they are relevant to a man, it says 'more wives more witchcraft.' Reference to the woman comes after that of possessions because the man needs the woman to take care of his house. And it says that she increases witchcraft. Even if he is married to Avigail. Certainly, kosher Jewish women don’t practice witchcraft. Nevertheless, she leans towards witchcraft as it is a lower level of being. Witchcraft is found more in women. Because of the lowness of the level of witchcraft it is found in women since they are lower in the level. Witchcraft comes from the power of materialism that is found in women. Therefore, witchcraft only works when a person is standing on the earth. Therefore, increase of women brings a man to the level of witchcraft. And even if she doesn’t actually practice witchcraft, nevertheless, he will lean towards the lowness and lacking due to the increase of wives since their increase will tend him towards the lowness of witchcraft." Maharal, Derech Chaim 2:8

"All those who follow the advice of their wife fall into Gehinom – This is truly incredible. We explain this also in relationship to Avos (1:5), All those who talk a lot with their wives are idle from words of Torah and in the end they inherit Gehinom. You should know that the woman is compared to Substance while the man is compared to the Form in every place. And when the Form is not separated from the Substance but rather the Form follows after the Substance entirely – he falls in Gehinom. That is because it is well known that the deficit is attached and bound with the Substance. This is alluded to by the Sages when they noted that when the woman was created the Samech was created with her. Because we don’t find the letter Samech in the Torah until the woman was created. ויסגר בשר תחתנה Bereishis (2:21) and closed up the flesh. That teaches you that with the woman was attached the deficit which is Satan who is the Angel of Death. When the Form follow after the Substance the Form obtains the deficit. That is because Gehinom is only the complete deficit as we learn from the names Gehinom itself." Maharal,  Bava Metzia 59a.

"And because the feminine leans towards the physical, her completion does not reside with the distinctly spiritual matters. Certainly she has these (purely spiritual traits) but not as much." Derech Chaim 2:9 (on the Mishnah: Amar lehem tzoo u’rahoo) d’h’ U’Mizeh.

In addition to the Maharal, there are numerous other commentators who make similar comments asserting the higher spiritualty of the male. They include the following:

Akeidas Yitzchak (Chapter 6)

Abarbanel (Bereshis, Chapter 1)

the Baal Magen Avraham (Ziet Ra'anan on Yalkut Shemoni, Shmuel 1:1)

Vilna Gaon (Even Shelaimah 1:8)

Rav Tzadock (Dover Tzedeck p. 119)

Baal Shevet Musar (Midrash Talpiyos, Ohs Aleph, Anaf Isha)

Certainly, there are areas where women excel: emunah peshuta, moral purity (Rav Hirsch), tranquility (Maharal), initiation of teshuva (Chasom Sofer), and feeling hashgacha pratis (Rebbe Maharash). However, the statement that they are more naturally predisposed toward spirituality is incorrect in my estimation. I would be very interested to see a Torah source that makes such a statement. I understand the temptation to buy off feminist complaints about the Torah by saying women are better than men. But it just isn't true. The Maharal in particular is very clear about that.

Yocheved

The Torah then lists and counts Jacob’s family – children and grandchildren – noting that they totaled 70 people. The 70th and youngest in this census was Levi’s daughter Yocheved, whom we will meet later as the mother of Moses.

כָּל הַנֶּפֶשׁ לְבֵית יַעֲקֹב הַבָּאָה מִצְרַיְמָה שִׁבְעִים: (בראשית מו:כז)

The total of Jacob’s household who came to Egypt was 70 persons. Genesis 46:27

By descending into the Egyptian exile, the Jewish people began the process of elevating and transforming the 70 nations of the world. Yocheved’s birth just before Jacob’s family entered Egypt brought their number to 70, thus enabling Jacob to begin the mission of refining the 70 nations.

The process of transforming the world is twofold: first, we must cure the world of its opposition to holiness, and then, we must transform it into holiness. The former is the “masculine,” assertive approach, whereas the latter is the “feminine,” nurturing approach.

Thus, the commandments entrusted to women – ensuring that the family is nourished in accordance with the Torah’s laws, ensuring the safety and spiritual warmth of the home (as exemplified by kindling the Sabbath candles), and sanctifying marital life – are all ways of transforming the mundane aspects of ordinary human life into expressions of holiness.1

FOOTNOTES
1.	Likutei Sichot, vol. 20, pp. 218 ff. 7th Lubavitcher Rebbe Translated and Adapted by Moshe Wisnefsky

What factors should a man look for in a girl in deciding whether to marry her? r miller

 

QUESTION:   What factors should a man look for in a girl in deciding whether to marry her?

ANSWER: I spoke about this about a dozen times, so I'll say it briefly again just to please this person.      First of all, she has to be a girl that agrees with his opinions. She has to be m'kabel Ol Malchus Shamayim, she wants to live a frum Jewish life. Never marry with the intention and the hope of changing her – forget about it.      Secondly, she has to be a girl that's healthy – physically and mentally; and in case you're not, you can't be choosy. If you are physically and mentally healthy, then watch out! Be careful whom you marry.      Thirdly, she has to have good character; a good character is very rare – very rare. You'll think she has good character, you'll know better a little later. However do the best you can, ascertain her character. Ask the teachers in the Bais Yaakov School that she attended; sometimes they'll tell you part of the truth. If they say very enthusiastically, so deduct 90%, and it might be worth marrying her. If they're not enthusiastic, and just say she's a fine girl, then forget about it.      If possible, she should come from a good family, because a family in the background has a big influence. If it's not the right kind of a family, then who knows what's going to happen to your children? You want to have good grandparents if possible, good uncles and aunts if possible. So if she could come from a good family, it's worthwhile, too.      It's very important to marry a girl from the same environment as you come from. That's why marry a girl who's in the same country, don't marry a girl from another country. Sometimes it's successful, but there's always a strain on the marriage; always. A man and a woman are two different nationalities; the gemara says that a man and a woman are really two different nations, Noshim am b'fnei atzmom heim (Shabbos 60A). And to put more of a strain on that is not necessary.      So always marry people from the same background. They have the same interests, they have the same kind of food they eat, the same customs; that makes it easier to remain married successfully. It's a very important point.

How Do Women Achieve Perfection?

 How Do Women Achieve Perfection?

“Greater is the assurance which the Holy One blessed be He gave to women, more than to the men.” (Brachos 17A).

Greater is the assurance which the Holy One blessed be He gave to women, more than to the men.” (Brachos 17A).

Men have more tests to undergo, and more complicated responsibilities. In addition, men are more readily motivated by the desire for glory, whereas “the tranquil women and the trusting daughters” (ibid.) seek no fame and compete with no one. The Jewish wife and mother can more readily achieve her destiny through her home, and she can most successfully find favor in G-d's sight by cherishing the womanly virtues of humility, patience, peace and trust in G-d’s providence. — Awake, My Glory