Maharal Deroshos Al Hatorah 27

"However, from this aspect the men need to toil and struggle in Torah without rest night and day. This is why the verse says “tell the sons of Israel,” a phrasing harsh like sinews (the root of the word sinew is related to the word to tell) that invokes the great toil (of Torah study). However, the women are spoken to in a gentle language because they don’t need this so much. Nevertheless, they (the women) are better fit for the divine reward due to their tranquility."

Q&A: Thursday Nights with Rabbi Miller

Q: If tzitizis and teffillin are so beneficial, why don't women use them? And what do they have instead?

A: The truth. is women do have it, because when men put tzitzis and tefillin, they're not putting it on for themselves. That’s absolutely not true. Every father puts on tzitzis and tefllin for all of his children and for his wife, too. There's no question that tzitzis and tefillin are the property of the Am Yisroel. But, more precisely, the family shares in all the mitzvos. So while he's putting on tzitzis and tefillin in the shull, let's say, and his wife is taking care of the children at home, somebody has to remain at home - he couldn't go to the synagogue if she weren't home. There's no question that it’s her tzitzis and her tefillin. That's the way to understand it. It's silly otherwise! And when he comes to study Torah in the evening, who will babysit? And, therefore, she has one hundred percent partnership in all that the does.

Q&A: Thursday Nights with Rabbi Miller, pp. 189-190.

Is there a difference between the neshamah of a man and a woman?

Is there a difference between the neshamah of a man and a woman?

When it comes to the actual makeup of the neshamah there's no difference, whatsoever. But when it comes to a person's role in perfecting that neshamah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu has given each individual a different way and opportunity to go about doing so. For example, when a woman gets married and dedicates her life to her family, to someone other than herself, she is transforming her very nature. If a mother would retain her selfishness, it would be impossible for her to function successfully in her role. She has her children to worry about; sometimes they may not be feeling well, and it is she who will be responsible for tending to them. She has to prepare food for her family, and they rely upon her for many other things as well. She has to carry a child within her and eventually nurse that child. In short, she has dedicated her life to others. But in order for a mother to be able to perfect her neshamah, she mustn't merely do "acts of kindness" like the gentiles do. Rather, her chessed should be with the intention of serving Hashem! This brings Hakadosh Baruch Hu a great amount of satisfaction, and He therefore exclaims, "By assisting others, you are helping My people and serving Me in a form that is most desirous." Imagine what a great accomplishment it is to bring up future servants of Hashem! This is what Chavah exclaimed when she bore Kayin, "Kanisi ish es Hashem," I have acquired a man - a son - not alone, but with Hashem! Giving birth to children and then raising them so that they will one day be servants of Hashem is an extremely important achievement for her neshamah, and it goes a long way in earning it the perfection that it needs. A woman is not expected to devote her hours to Torah learning, nor is she expected to meditate upon Torah ideas. She can certainly do so if she wishes, but her main area of achievement will be in transforming her neshamah through acts of chessed intended to benefit Hashem's people. A man, however, has to perfect his neshamah in a different way. While a man neither gives birth to children nor nurses babies, there are still multitudes of ways through which he can earn perfection. A man must go to work to earn a living, and there are very many nisyonos that he will encounter throughout his day. An entire section of Shulchan Aruch was written to deal with the laws that apply when one has to compete with another for a livelihood! There's a very great perfection a man can acquire when out making a living! Of course a man is also required to dedicate a part of his day to Torah learning, and other mitzvos that a woman wouldn’t have time to perform because of her day to day responsibilities. We see, therefore, that a man and woman secure perfection for their respective neshamahs in different ways.

Rabbi Avidgor Miller Speaks, pp. 245-246.

Who Leads?

“This will-subordination of the wife to the husband is a necessary condition of the unity which man and wife should form together. The subordination cannot be the other way about, since the man as zachar has to carry forward the divine and human messages which through every marriage are to be a living force in the household, and to which the husband and wife are in union to devote their forces. Just as the first command of God though addressed to the man was given through him for the woman as well, just as in consequence Adam should not have thrown over the command of God for the sake of Eve but Eve ought to have subjected her desire to the will of God as expressed to her though Adam, so thenceforward the husband was to be responsible for the task imposed upon man by God and to carry it out in his marriage and household.” R' Hirsch, Judaism Eternal, vol. II, p 58.

Chukim and Mishpatim

Generally, hukkim seem to be irrational and, if not for the 

Divine imperative, we would never observe them. We assume 

a Divine purpose and value, but we cannot fathom them. The 

mishpatim, on the other hand, reflect cultural and humanistic 

considerations. Yet the force of the Divine command applies to 

both, demanding observance and unqualified commitment. We 

intend to analyze the nature of the hok and also to explain why 

the mishpat needs the support of the same Divine imperative 

as the [10k. Would oursocial conscience not be sufficient motiva- 

tion for the mishpat?

Analyzing the Hok. Rashi cites a Rabbinic comment on the 

Parah Adumah rite: "It is a decree ordained by Me. You have 

no right to question it" (Num. 19:2). This suggests that the 

hok can be defined as an absolute norm and an ultimate com- 

mand, demanding total submission without reservations. It is to 

be affirmed even if "Satan and the nations of the world taunt 

Israel," ridiculing its irrationality. The observant Jew accepts 

the Torah even as a patient follows the prescription of his doc- 

tor, taking complex medications and submitting to required 

surgical procedures. We may seek to understand and make all 

possible inquiries, but ultimately we accept it on faith. The Lord, 

Creator and Healer of all flesh, undoubtedly knows what is best 

for our bodies and souls as well as what is harmful to them. 

Reflections of the Rav, p. 100

R’ Joseph B. Soloveitchik

Explaining R' Hirsch - RABBI YOEL CHONON WENGER Montreal, Quebec

Letter to the Jewish Observer

To the Editor:

The November issue featured a letter regarding the reason for the exemption of women from many mitzvos. The writer disagrees with Rabbi Yisroel ben Reuven's rejection of the idea that "women are higher spiritually than men and are not in need of [timebound] commandments;” citing Rabbi S. R. Hirsch as a source for this concept. Rabbi Hirsch actually states that "women have greater fervor and more faithful enthusiasm for their G-d given calling" and are less at risk than men, who must go out in professional and business pursuits. This is no way stating that women are spiritually superior. (He does not even say that women have more fervor and enthusiasm than men; he states that they have proportionally more zeal for their assigned tasks.)

Rabbi Hirsch is explaining that women are naturally endowed with emuna peshuta (unquestioning faith), and a woman's role of living a sheltered life of v'hinei Sora ba'ohel (Sarah, in the tent) is removed from the many temptations that face man. Rabbi Hirsch explains that a woman's position in a Torah life protects her from the temptations that abound and the risks that time-bound mitzvos were given to protect against. Therefore, she does not require those mitzvos. These characteristics should not be confused with spirituality. This is similar to the position of a king who has special mitzvos to protect him from arrogance and pride; his role is such that he requires the protection of additional mitzvos. Would anyone dream of saying that the king is lower spiritually than the rest of Klal Yisroel because of his need for additional mitzvos?

With the above we can catch a glimpse of the perfection of the creation and the unity of Torah that guides it. The Abudraham explains that women are exempt from time-bound mitzvos so that mitzvos should not interfere with their family obligations. In other words, their main obligation and profession is to assist their spouse and raise a family. The Creator planned things accordingly, and gave them emotional and psychological characteristics to help them fulfill their purpose. Their emuna peshuta helps them prepare a proper environment for the next generation. Their enthusiasm and maternal instincts protect them from the desire to leave the home. Those same characteristics make them less susceptible to the problems that confront men which the constant reminders of certain mitzvos alleviates. The Creator endowed them with their specific makeup so that they should not require certain mitzvos, because they would not be able to fulfill them without encroaching on their primary mission. As we become aware of these insights in creation and its purpose, we can only marvel: Ma tabu ma'asechaHashem-How vast are Your deeds, Oh G-d!

RABBI YOEL CHONON WENGER Montreal, Quebec

The Jewish Observer, February 1997

In some matters of a personal and family nature

In Proverbs (31), Solomon extolled the exemplary woman
who "looks well after her household" and "whose husband is
known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land."
In some matters of a personal and family nature, Sarah's spiri-
tual discernment is praised as being superior to Abraham's.
When her husband hesitated about sending away Hagar and
Ishmael because of Ishmael's baneful influence upon her son
Isaac, God said to Abraham, "All that Sarah says to you, listen
to her voice" (Gen. 21:12).6 Rashi adds, "We may infer that
Abraham was inferior to Sarah in respect of prophecy. "

R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik

(Man of Faith in the Modern World, p. 84).

In their spiritual natures, they were equally worthy

"The foremost distinguishing characteristic bestowed upon 

man is his Divine image, his tzelem Elohim, which denotes 

particular qualitative endowments, such as a moral sense, free 

will, and intellect. Man partakes of these attributes within 

human limitations, while God's representation of these qualities 

is absolute. Maimonides embodied man's likeness to God pri- 

marily in terms of his intellect (Guide 1: 1). This Divine gift was 

given to both men and women. "And God created man with His 

image. In the image of God, He created him; male and female 

He created them" (Gen. 1:27).7 In their spiritual natures, they 

were equally worthy." 

R. Joseph Soloveitchik 

(Man of Faith in the Modern World, p. 84). 

Both worthy of communing with God

"Man and woman are both worthy of communing with God, the highest form of human perfection and self-fulfillment. However, the Halakhah has discriminated between axiological equality pertaining to their Divine essence and metaphysical uniformity at the level of the existential personal experience. Man and woman are different personae, endowed with singular qualities and assigned distinct missions in life."

Joseph B. Soloveitchik
Family Redeemed p. 72

Equality in rank

In the word איש and אשה. (man and a female man I.L.) lay the guarantee for the equality in rank 

and mutually complementing calling of Man and Woman. As long as man and woman were איש
and אשה. there was no need for man to be emancipated from woman nor woman from man, 

neither could make the other into a slave nor yet into a god or goddess. The first who altered this
designation - as indeed our sages remark, in no other language are man and woman designated
by words coming from the same root and so regarded from the same trend of thought - brought

it about that one man would yoke his woman to the plough while the other would throw himself at
her feet. (R' Samson Raphael Hirsch, Genesis 11 :58)

Note: I.L. is the editor Isaac Levy 

Full equality of status

"The change from singular to plural, which we have tried to reproduce in our translation of this first mention of man and woman in the story of the creation, already indicates the full equality of status, nay, the inner unity between man and woman in the conception and the destiny of "man formed in the image of God." This term embraces both sexes. Only man and woman together make up the idea of "man", and God created both of them alike without intermediary, and with the same conscious effort of will power."

R' Samson Raphael Hirsch
Judaism Eternal II, p. 51

The Role of the Male

"The male sex is zachar, it is the depository of the Divine revelations and the spiritual attainments of the human race. To it has been entrusted the zicharon, the tradition of the human race as it has developed, in him is formed the spiritual chain which links together the beginning and the end of the human race; the male sex is the zachar, the bearer of history. Its activities do not belong wholly to the present moment, it has to think of the tasks and traditions received from God and from the past, and from the union of these with the events and conditions of the present to produce its own activities which carry on the chain of history further and further to perpetuity."

R' Hirsch
Judaism Eternal, II

Maharal, that spirituality is primarily grounds for obligating a person in commandments, not exempting them

“...connection to Hashem comes through the commandments. The man is better fit for this connection. The woman is more physical and her level is not as high as is the man’s.” (Tiferes Israel 28)

Awake My Glory (by Rav A. Miller)

Awake My Glory (by Rav A. Miller):

1095. There cannot be two kings. The marriage relationship is twofold. 1) The wife is submissive. This is not only Jewish but natural. There can be no harmony when there are two commanders. Without this indispensable condition, the home is disordered. "Arrogance is unbecoming a woman" - Megillah 14B. For a man it is not an ornament, but for a woman it is as if she wore a mustache. 2) The second, but equally essential foundation: a man must always demonstrate respect for his wife. This is "the way of Jewish men that... honor and support their wives in truth" as stated in the Jewish marriage contract. "He honors her more than his own body" - Yevamos 62B, Bava Metzia 59A. He is the captain, but she is the First Mate whose counsel is respected. She cannot be made a doormat, she need not beg for money, she deserves some assistance in the house chores, and the husband sides with her against his kin. He must express frequent appreciation and give words of encouragement, and he should remember his wife from time to time with gifts, big or little. Husband and wife should always say "Please" and "Thank You" and never forget to be always polite to each other.

1105. Before marriage it is imperative to ascertain the young woman's attitude toward feminism and "women's rights" and careerism. It is out of the question to build a Jewish home, or any home whatsoever, if the prospective wife has been tainted with these anti-natural and anti-social preachings. The woman's career and happiness are in her home: absolutely and entirely. Her husband, her children and her home are the expressions of her personality and her Free Will, and they are her chief forms of serving G-d. The modern orthodox "Rebbetzin" with a college degree and a job in secular professions is a misfit even in a non-Jewish home. The ideas of revolt against a husband's authority and the unrealistic dream of equal leadership in the family, lead only to unhappiness and failure, and very frequently to divorce. A Beth Jacob girl should be wed soon after or before graduation. Every day after she leaves the Beth Jacob marks another step away from idealism, for the street and the office and the secular school have an unfailing effect which increases from day to day. It is never a simple matter to achieve harmony in the home; effort and wisdom and fear of G-d are required. But with the additional burden of feminism, all problems become aggravated; and like all the unnatural and anti-social affectations of the libertarians this leads only to failure and unhappiness.

from http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/why-was-woman-created

ד"א למה לנשים תחלה שהן מזדרזות במצות

ד"א למה לנשים תחלה שהן מזדרזות במצות

ויקרא אליו ה' מן ההר לאמר בזכות ההר ואין ההר אלא אבות שנאמר (מיכה ז) שמעו הרים את ריב ה' ומשה עלה אל האלהים עלה בענן וירד בענן וזכות אבות עולה ויורדת עמו. כה תאמר לבית יעקב אלו הנשים א"ל אמור להם ראשי דברים שהם יכולות לשמוע ותגיד לבני ישראל אלו האנשים א"ל אמור להם דקדוקי דברים שהם יכולין לשמוע. ד"א למה לנשים תחלה שהן מזדרזות במצות. ד"א כדי שיהו מנהיגות את בניהן לתורה. א"ר תחליפא דקיסרין אמר הקב"ה כשבראתי את העולם לא צויתי אלא לאדם הראשון ואחר כך נצטוית חוה ועברה וקלקלה את העולם עכשיו אם איני קורא לנשים תחלה הן מבטלות את התורה לכך נאמר כה תאמר לבית יעקב ור' יוחנן אמר כה תאמר לבית יעקב אלו סנהדרין שנאמר (ישעיה ב) בית יעקב לכו ונלכה באור ה' וידבר אלהים את כל הדברים האלה לאמר בטכסיס של מלכים נהג הקב"ה עם ישראל שנאמר (שיר ד) אתי מלבנון כלה למה כך בזכות שאמרו 

נעשה ונשמע:

My Own Theory

In the spirit of that kind of explanation and with due respect to the warnings to use traditional sources for interpretation, I’d like to offer what I call the populist explanation, ie. one that that seems to emerge naturally in people’s minds when considering this subject without prompting by apologists. And I’ll note that I’m clearly labeling this explanation as such. The explanation is this: men have a masculine spirituality and women have a feminine spirituality. There’s nothing radical about that idea. Think of the qualities that we generally associate with each gender. Women tend to be more social. I know men who could sit at a table with people for two hours and not say a peep. I don’t know any women like that. I have gone on business trips with men and barely exchanged a word. In attempting to engage them, I have felt that I was causing them pain. With female colleagues it’s the opposite, not engaging them in conversation seems to cause them pain.  Women tend to be more preoccupied with relationships. They also tend to be more nurturing. Appropriately, women are uniquely assigned and/or focus on a slew of mitzvos that go along with these leanings -– mitzvos such of taking care of children, being helpmates, doing chesed, and lighting candles on Friday night to foster and symbolize peace in the home. Women are more concerned with their appearances and interested in their bodies. Women will sit and talk about clothing and myriad subjects connected with their bodies for hours. Men hardly ever do this. I’m not just talking about traditional women but women from all circles. Hence, they have the mitzvos of niddah and tznius. Women tend to enjoy cooking. I’m referring even to the women I knew in graduate school for economics, one of whom used to frequently cook fancy dinners for her classmates. Hence, they have the mitzvah of preparing meals for the family and taking Challah. Men like to go outdoors and they like to build things. Look at their mitzvos, many of which involve simply getting out of the house to attend minyan or to sit in a succah. Men like to build their succos -– not so most women. I have seen single moms hire men to build their succos for them.  Men are more inclined to logical thinking -– hence the mitzvah of Torah study, the bulk of which involves the study of law. Likewise tefillin, which sit on the head and the biceps, symbolize the channelling of mind and muscle for avodah. I’m not talking about IQ and SAT scores, but rather the way people go about their lives. One sees these traits even in children. These seem like mere cliches, but they have a lot of truth to them, even half a century into the feminist movement. Male spirituality is more super-charged, more aggressive, more high flying. For this reason, it can be harder to get off the ground, but when it goes it really soars. As I proposed earlier, the extra mitzvahs may function to contain and channel the spiritual energy. Female spirituality is more intuitive, more hidden, more automatic, and more stable. The mitzvos for women fit with that. We need both types of people. They need each other. Neither has to catch up to other. Rather, they operate in separate realms and we should do our best to keep it that way rather than mixing it all up by ranking them as if they are of the same type. They are different: “Male and female, He Created them.”

But all of that is just conjecture. Ultimately, the exemption of women from positive time-bound commandments is a Chok, a decree of the verses. God alone knows the true reasons.