Q. Why Don’t Girls Wear Yarmulkas?
A. Let me ask you: Why do men wear yarmulkes? The answer is
because Hakadosh Baruch Hu declared, "Atem tehiyu Ii mamleches kohanim
ve'goy kadosh," the Jewish people is to be a nation of exalted Kohanim. As
we are well aware, a cap was among the four begadim that the Kohanim were
required to wear; it was called a para hamigvaos. It is for this reason that
we, too, wear yarmulkes and hats on our heads - to remind ourselves that we are
a nation of Kohanim. In ancient times, it wasn't necessary to wear a yarmulke,
for little time had elapsed since Hashem had uttered His eternal declaration.
Each and every Jew identified fully with this concept and viewed himself as a
Kohen. But as the generations progressed and hundreds of years passed by, there
were some Jews that began to forget their status as Kohanim. On account of this,
Jews began to place yarmulkes on their heads as reminders. In the morning, we
recite the berachah "Oter Yisrael be'tifarah," thanking Hashem for
crowning us with splendor. This berachah refers to the head coverings worn by
Jewish men. Notice that the words tifarah and "para" migvaos share
the same root. This is because the yarmulkes and hats that we don each day are
meant to be reminders of our status as Kohanim and servants of Hashem! By
wearing a yarmulke we show that we are yirei Shamayim and loyal servants of
Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
It is important for girls to know that leadership rests in
the hands of their husbands. This is a very important lesson! Let us think about
this for a moment: As we know, men are commanded to perform mitzvos asei
she'haz'man grama, time-bound mitzvos. Women, on the other hand, are not
required to perform these mitzvos. What is the reason for this difference? The
answer is that women have other important obligations to tend to, which exempt her
from these commandments. A woman must know that she is a briah shel chessed,
she has been created for the purpose of performing chessed. Being a wife and
mother is a very significant role, and it requires her to be selfless and
totally dedicated to performing chessed! It takes a woman's entire effort to
succeed in being an efficient mother and wife. Investing her abilities in
raising children is very time consuming but is a tremendous zechus for her! The
Gemara goes so far as to tell us that the zechus of a woman is greater than the
zechus of a man. Why is that? Because on occasion a man will do a certain
mitzvah for the sake of kavod, in order to gain prestige. Women, however, don't
have any chance to show off, as they are always in their homes and tending to
important things. It is for this reason that the zechus of a woman is greater
than that of a man, and it therefore stands to reason that a man has to work
much harder in order to be found zocheh in the eyes of Hashem. Now, of course,
a woman is considered kadosh, holy; every Jew is a kadosh. But she has a
different role than a man, and she must realize that. Don't try to be an
Orthodox feminist and do all of the same things that men do! Your job is to be
a kosher Jewish woman who serves Hashem in the way that He intended! You must
get married, have children, and raise them in the derech haTorah that they
should grow to be decent frum Jews! What a tremendous accomplishment that would
be! If you do this, you will one day sit on a golden throne in Gan Eden and
reap a reward that is no less than any man! Just do it the way a woman is
supposed to do it, that's all. Just remember: A man puts on a yarmulke or a hat
in order to resemble a Kohen who served Hashem in the Beis Hamikdash. A woman
also has a beis hamikdash - her home. In that beis hamikdash, she needn't wear
a yarmulke - her snood is good enough! This is a woman's role in mamleches
kohanim, and it is Hakadosh Baruch Hu's assurance that if a woman serves Him
like she is supposed to, she will receive as great a share in Olam Haba as any
man.
Rabbi Avigdor Miller Speaks, pp. 271-3
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