Other authorities

Other authorities that either explicitly or implicitly contradict the notion of generally higher spirituality in the female include Rambam, Mishnah Horarios 3:7; Tur, Orach Chaim 46; Akeidas Yitzchak, Bereishis 6; Bartenura, Mishnah Horarios 3:7; Taz, Orach Chaim 46; Zies Ra'anan (Magen Avraham), Yalkut Shemoni, Shmuel 1:1; Vilna Gaon, Even Shelaima 1:8; Baal Shevet Musar, Midrash Talpiyos, Ohs Aleph, Anaf Isha; Rav Tzadock Rabinowitz, Dover Tzedeck, p. 119; R' Avraham Yitzchak Kook, Olas Re'iah, Birchos ha-shachar; R' Moshe Feinstein, Iggeros Moshe, Orach Chaim IV, 49; R' Joseph B. Soloveitchik, Man of Faith in the Modern World, (Hoboken, NJ: Ktav, 1989), p. 84; Lubavitcher Rebbe, Sichos in English, Iyar-Tammuz 5744, Vol. 21, pp. 69-72; R' Avigdor Miller, Rabbi Avigdor Miller Speaks, (Brooklyn, NY: Mesorah), pp. 245-246 .     

R' Kook on shelo Asani Ishah

“There are two kinds of souls. Those that make an imprint on life, on themselves and on existence and those that carry that imprint and cause it to grow.  There are those that grow through their undertaking of making an impression on themselves and their world and there are those that grow through inspiration which is received from outside themselves. Man is superior in his yearning to create and impress and therefore recites the blessing “Blessed is He … that He did not make me a woman.

"Man however has the distinct disadvantage of being limited to the narrow limitations of his spiritual and physical makeup, which can lead him astray from G-ds ultimate plan. Woman is superior by virtue of her receptivity. This superiority allows her to be impressed and inspired by the all encompassing bounty which G-d created in this world. She therefore recites the blessing “Blessed is He … who has made me according to His will. She can aspire to fulfill G-ds will without turning astray." (Rav A.Y. Kook, Olas Rayah, pps 71-72)

Translation from R' Yaakov Haber's www.TorahLab.org

Problems with the apologetics

Problems with the apologetics

1. Diminishes the authority of the rabbinate. Rabbis are men. If men are so deficient, who will want to listen to them?

2. Diminishes respect for fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons.

3. Hurts shiduchim. A woman might say if men are so low, I need the best man so I can have my equal. Men say, women are supposed to be so holy. This one is not.

4. Diminishes appreciation for wives. A man might say, women are supposed to be so holy. What's wrong with my wife?

5. Disincentive for men when mitzvos are made to look like signposts of deficiency. The apologetics are emasculating too.

6. Disincentive for women who may begin to overrate themselves. I know of one man who tells his wife that she is complete and her only job in life is to help him.

7. Confuses the idea of yetzer tov and yetzer hara going together.

8. Possible idol worship in positing a yetzer tov without a yetzer hara. Creates a false god.

9. Unnerves women because then who can they rely on? Women don't want to be superior. They just want respect. Men have the desire to conquer and be superior. Telling women they are superior actually makes them uncomfortable. It's what men think women want to hear.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller on the exemption

As we know, men are commanded to perform mitzvos asei she'haz'man grama, time-bound mitzvos. Women, on the other hand, are not required to perform these mitzvos. What is the reason for this difference? The answer is that women have other important obligations to tend to, which exempt her from these commandments. A woman must know that she is a briah shel chessed, she has been created for the purpose of performing chessed. Being a wife and mother is a very significant role, and it requires her to be selfless and totally dedicated to performing chessed! It takes a woman's entire effort to succeed in being an efficient mother and wife. Investing her abilities in raising children is very time consuming but is a tremendous zechus for her! (Rabbi Avigdor Miller Speaks, pp. 271-3)

Nissan Mindel on Shelo Asani Isha

"Anyone who is familiar with the high esteem in which the Jewish woman is held in the Torah, and with the place which she occupies in Jewish life, will not be foolish enough to think that a reflection on Jewish womanhood. Suffice it to mention that in the era of prophecy, there were seven prophetesses mentioned by name in the T'NaCh. They were: Sarah, Miriam, Devorah, Hannah, Abigail, Huldah and Esther." Sarah, the Torah tells us, was in some respects even superior to Abraham, for G-d told Abraham, "All that Sarah will tell you, listen to her. Moreover, our Sages of the Mishnah and Talmud frequently emphasized the moral strength and spiritual excellence of the Jewish woman. They reminded us that it was in the merit of the righteous Jewish women that the children of Israel were liberated from Egyptian bondage"; that at the giving of the Torah, the women were approached first; that women had no part in the Golden Calf, but at the building of the Sanctuary the women were the most generous; that they had a leading part in the miracles of Purim and Chanukah, ete., etc, History also records that throughout the long martyrology of our people in exile, Jewish women faced death with the same courage as the men, and sometimes greater, in their devotion to G-d and the Torah and the Jewish way of life.

"Thus, when the Jew makes the blessing thanking G-d for not making him a woman, he does not say these words with any feeling of superiority, but quite for another reason, as will be made clear presently.

"In the nature of things, the husband's task is to be the breadwinner, while the wife has to take care of the home and the children, and to manage the whole household. This is a very complicated task, requiring a great deal of skill, patience, understanding, and many other high qualities, which Divine Providence so generously bestowed upon the women. It is doubtful whether any executive position which the husband may hold requires greater skill and is more exacting than the domestic responsibilities of the wife and mother.

"In view of the above, the Divine Torah has exempted the Jewish woman from the obligation to fulfill certain Mitzvoth. She is equally with her husband duty-bound to observe all the prohibitions of the Torah, the "don'ts" (and these are in the majority-365 don'ts to 248 do's). However, in regard to the positive commandments, the Jewish woman is excused from the fulfillment of some of them (by no means all), mainly those which have a time factor or limit, out of consideration for her important wifely and motherly duties to which the Torah gives precedence.

"In this respect, therefore, the Jewish woman is rather "privileged" than "underprivileged."

"However, the male Jew, who has not been given the special privileges enjoyed by the Jewish woman, has something to compensate for them, namely, the opportunity to commune with G-d more frequently through the fulfillment of those Mitzvoth from which the Jewish woman is exempt. This is no small compensation, and it is for this reason-for the opportunity to serve G-d with these additional Mitzvoth-that the male Jew makes the blessing, 'Who has not made me a woman.'"

Nissan Mindel, "As For Me- My Prayer", 1975, pp. 45-47.

Rav Schwab's book on tefillah

Rav Schwab's book on tefillah is impressive, but I do wonder about the commentary on 'shelo asani ishah.' It comes across as rather apologetic. I spoke to him about this topic and he told me that to say women are more spiritual than men is "ridiculous." He said men are more spiritual in ways, and women are more in ways.

I have some tapes from his tefillah series, but not the ones on the early part of the siddur. And his book on siddur is not his writing but is based on the tapes. I do wonder if his words were misconstrued on this topic. Our generation has become so ingrained in the concept that women "are on a higher plane" that we sometimes imagine that idea in writings that preceded feminism.

For example, R' Eli Munk also did not say that women are more spiritual. (The R' Schwab tefillah book editor references R' Munk as a secondary source for the idea). R' Munk only says that women's creation was positive and affirmative, not that it was better.

The Maharal says in many places that men are more spiritual and are on a higher plane. See Tiferes Israel 4 and 28, Chidushei Agados Makkos 23b, Gur Aryeh, parshas Tazriah, Derech Chaim on "more wives more witchcraft" and "don't speak too much to the woman."

The Magen Avraham says women's yetzer tov is smaller. (Zies Ra'anan on Yalkut Shimoni, Shmuel 1:1).

I know of numerous other sources like this. As for R' Hirsch, contrary to popular misconception, he says in many places that men and women are equal.

R' Feinstein, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, R' Soloveitchik, and R' Avigdor Miller also assert equality. This women as better speech does not have classic sources behind it. It's a sad result of feminism and other gentile influences.

I asked R' Schwab if the idea could harm marriages. He said that it definitely could and he volunteered to speak to people about it.

I'd like to add one other thought. The teaching that women are more spiritual has a strange implication which is this: if women are exempt from mitzvos because they are more spiritual, then their day must be less spiritual. How else would men catch up? But this is exactly what we fear women will think, that their role is less spiritual. Thus, the apologetics backfire like any untruth.

This is why the approach of R' Moshe, the Rebbe, the Rav, and R' Miller are best for this era. Men and women are equal but different. And this is exactly how R' Schwab explained it to me too. How something other than that appeared in his book, which appeared after his passing, I cannot say.

R' Miller: IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE NESHAMA (SOUL) OF A MAN VS. A WOMAN?

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE NESHAMA (SOUL) OF A MAN VS. A WOMAN?

 from http://www.rabbimillersanswers.com/

"In neshamos there is no difference. Hashem gives people different ways different opportunities to perfect their neshama. When a woman is married and she dedicates her life to others, she’s doing something that transforms her nature. It’s impossible for her to function successfully and to remain selfish.

Her main achievement is transforming her neshama by doing chesed (kindness) to Hashem’s people for the sake of Heaven.

She has all the functions of other people upon her. She has to carry children with in her, and then she has to nurse the child. She has to worry about children at night; sometimes they’re not well. She has to think about preparing food for everybody. Everything is for others.

She does it selflessly like a busy Jewish mother usually does. It’s an extremely important achievement for her neshama, and she gains perfection in that way. We don’t expect her to devote hours to Torah learning. Her main achievement is transforming her neshama by doing chesed (kindness) to Hashem’s people for the sake of Heaven. (If it’s done properly,  it’s not merely done like gentiles do, but it’s done with the intention of serving Hashem.)

A man has other opportunities. A man is not limited; he doesn’t carry a child within himself. He doesn’t have to nurse babies. Nevertheless he has to do many things. He has to go out to the marketplace, make a living. And there are many nisyonos (tests) in making a living. All the laws of choshen mishpat (business dealings) apply when you have to compete with other people for parnassa (livelihood).

Therefore a man gains his perfection other ways, and is expected also to give part of his efforts to learning Torah and doing more mitzvos than a woman is able to do because she is busy. Each one gains perfection in a different way. (#791, 10 Aspects of Shabbos)"

Why Is There More Fixed Prayer for Men

Here's a proposal of my own. Women are more dependent in their role. Their sense of dependency therefore is more pronounced. Men are asked to go out and be conquerors. Therefore, therefore they engage in more prayer to bring out the feeling of dependency.

Of course, you could say to this that women are dependent on people so they need prayer to switch that to the awareness of God. And they do need prayer. But they don't need to be forced to start.

Now someone directed me to an idea, with a Torah source that I can't  recall, that less prayer was imposed on women because we don't ask the tzibur to do something they can't handle. Thus, maybe women are quicker to engage in prayer but can't handle as much. I met a young woman recently who attends a Modern Orthodox school where the boys and girls attend minyan together (with a mechitza). Thus, for the first time in her life she was doing a full schacharis every day. She said she found it overwhelming and didn't understand how men were able to do it everyday. Another woman who did the same for a time so that she could say kaddish for her further made the same comment.

So who is more spiritual, the one who starts more automatically or the one who takes it further?

I have no idea. They are different.

Women and Tzitzis

"The Gemara asks a question, if a blind man should wear tzitzis on his garment. He has a four corner garment, does he need tzitzis? Because it says uri'isem oso, 'you should see it' and a blind man cannot see it. So maybe it's patur from tzitzis. So the Gemara says, no that's no reason because sha'ani tzitzis sh'yeshnah b'riah etzel acharim (Menachos 43a) other people should see his tzitzis. So a blind man should wear tzitzis not really for himself, (but) for other people to see. Now that's a remarkable thing we are hearing now. It means the tzitzis that you are wearing are not only for you to see, it's for me to see too. So let's say a woman thinks I'm not wearing tzitzis so it doesn't apply. No it applies to her too. As she sees her boys going around with tzitzis she should see the tzitzis uri'isem oso, you should see the tzitzis uzachartem, 'you should remember'. And oso doesn't mean only tzitzis, oso means you see Hashem when you see the tzitzis."

R' Avigdor Miller
Lecture, "Forever and Ever" #952

External movements

External movements never work well for Jews because we always take them too seriously; we turn them into religion. From communism, to capitalism, rock music, to sports, we take it all way more seriously than the goyim do. And we are mesiras nefesh for it. So too feminism. It's so much more overboard in the Jewish world. Goyish movements are full to talk to cover their weak intentions. The leaders get paid for all the talk. Jews take it all as Torah and get very warped. The whole woman's issue today is like that. People are out of control with it. They are so full of compassion for the women that they have lost all reason and actually wind up hurting women by destroying what women value most - family.

Harsh Words for Aish

The Aish view is invalid. It's made up and lacks Torah commentators. It involves a comparison between men and women and that's where it goes off. If you want to say women are great nurturers, they live a life of chesed -like R' Miller does, that's focusing on one positive aspect. That's fine. But that's not what they do. Rather, they put down men, just like American TV commercials and sitcoms. They claim to have the whole picture. They say that when the men march off to minyan it's because they are lower than women and need to catch up to them. It's so toxic and emasculating and discouraging. It causes divorce and shiduch problems. It causes young men with poor self esteem to go off the derech. It causes women to say, I'm complete, no need for me to put in effort at being a Jew. A young BT told me the other day, she was told women are at the top and just need to hold on. No need to grow. So I guess Moshe Feinstein had to spend his life catching up to 12 year old girls who are born holy and complete. That's the Aish approach, which is not an approach of course, it's an act of tiva - the Satan desires Chava. It's the work of the Satan, possibly even the eruv rav. It damages every home, or many homes. And it makes Aish a traife organization because the damage is so widespread and fundamental.

Why the Spirituality Vort is an Act of Yetzer Hara

Because it's a chutzpah which works slightly differently for men and women. The idea that one is 'above' mitzvos which connect us to the Divine or even understands mitzvos, which are infinite in their purpose and meaning minimizes mitzvos and embarrasses them. The idea that one is above half the human race, including their fathers and grandfathers and gedolei hador and Avos is egotistical. It also defies logic. Is a 12 year old girl from Teaneck above Moshe Rabbeinu? This whole simplistic, pat women as better speech is lacking in discipline and intelligence. It's juvenile and that is a chutzpah and an act of yetzer hara. People are attracted to it in part because it's perverse. It's such a chidush because it's perverse. And people love perverse chidushim because it makes them look very, very smart. Ah, the whole human race thinks X, but I'm really smart and I know that the real truth is Y. Look how smart I am. A lot of evil in this world has been done by people who came up with radical explanations on life.

It also is a backdoor assault on the cavod of men. Tell me, if men are inferior  spiritually, then why are they the leaders? Maybe the women should be the rabbis and the spiritual authorities in the home.

So I'd worry about women for whom this concept resonates.

I'd worry about men for whom it resonates too, but doubt in most cases that they really believe it. Much of the time it's a case of the Satan lusting after Chava and telling her whatever he thinks she wants to hear. Truth is, few women want to see themselves as being better than men. Most just want respect and equality. The thirst for being better, for conquest, is masculine.

For Lubavitchers, the chutzpah has a special dimension because the Rebbe spoke on the topic of the exemption and said nothing about women being better. He said only they are not worse. He also said that women are connected to these mitzvos via their husbands, not that they are above the mitzvos. So half of Chabad tells me the Rebbe is moshiach and the other half tell me he was the gadol hador, yet they won't listen to him and utilize his explanation. And that is chutzpah and yetzer hara.

Some Thoughts in Response to the Hesilis Book

Everything in this world works in a balance with something else. That's the key point. If you want to say that men go higher and lower (see R' Kook on shelo asani isha), that's fine. But what you cannot say is that women have a bigger yetzer tov and a smaller yetzer hara. If one is big then the other is big. Otherwise you are describing God and that is why I worry that this woman worship trend is a kind of avodah zara. Yet, this is something people in kiruv say all the time - one way or another. And it's just flattery. Remember the Satan lusts after Chava and uses flattery to get her. Sometimes I listen to kiruv rabbis wax on with this women's spirituality routine and I think of alpha male baboons that beat down all the males and take the women for themselves. It seems adulterous at times. And it's lashon hara against men and sinas chinom too. And it's the worst kind of sinas chinam. If the Chasidim mock the Litvacks, that's wrong but the Chasdim can still live successfully in their own community. But if you mock men, then every community goes bad because men and women live in the same communities and the same homes. And women don't work well with men that they look down on.

The idea that something about the 'status' of women as a group will change in the period before the geula is not new. The Baal HaTanya talks about that. I saw the source 25 years ago. Same with the idea that women's bodies have a special kind of ruchniyus to it. R' Hirsch mentions the creation from body not earth.  If what Ms. Heshilis is saying is true it shouldn't be new to Torah thought, even if it was new to some people. If it is new to the readers of her book, maybe they should digest it a bit and see how it meshes with the words of the Maharal and others who posit that men are more spiritual before they present these ideas to the public. This topic is quite complicated so if you read something that makes it all seem simple and clear then you likely are working with oversimplifications.

As for changes to the world at the end of days, we have to recognize that what also happens close to the geulah is an emergence of evil in the world, of a takeover by chutzpah, and violation of nature. Would you say that the public acceptance of homosexuality is a positive sign of the end of days too? What about sexual immorality? What about the chutzpah of the young? The social order has been turned upside down and generally that's a bad thing. Our society is in a meltdown and feminism is a primary cause of that. So we need to be careful with this topic.

One sign of a decaying society is the degradation of men. Picture the American ghetto for example. If you tear down the men, then you tear down your society. Klal Yisrael at the end of golus is in a terribly degraded state. Is one playing into that with a portrayal of these topics which lists everything good about women and everything bad about men?

I think he is, if his portrayal is not balanced. If you feel that you cannot even hint that women are less spiritual, then you cannot say the other stuff either, particularly that which associates women and the shekina. Talk about idol worship. (Remember the shekina is not God, it's an outer aspect, the inner being male). And this is likely why contemporary gadolim portray men and women as equal, because people cannot handle the complex picture of differing statuses and advantages. We should follow their lead and not deem ourselves as knowing better.

It doesn't matter that the apologetics are common amongst kiruv 'professionals.' As for kiruv, well let me tell you that I know the field well, and can tell you that it isn't a science. Few people are 'trained' in kiruv. They just go into it, largely for parnassah. And they make mistakes all the time, terrible mistakes. Beyond that, I know many kiruv people who know not to teach feminist apologetics.

I also know many men who are very turned off by the apologetics. They are just furious about it. It's emasculating. You have to wonder if it feeds into men going off the derech. Some say that less men become BTs and more men go off the derech. If that's true, do the apologetics play into it? What would happen to a baseball manager that told his players how bad they were all the time? Would that be motivating? Rather managers generally build their players up. I know story after story, particularly of the very successful ones. That's why people do it for the women. Are the men any different in their need for self-esteem?

All kiruv groups  have a very low success rate of seeing people become frum for all the people they meet so we can't assume that because this kind of teaching is so common that it doesn't hurt kiruv. So we must consider the effect of kiruv presentations on everyone, particularly the sensitive men. The arrogant ones may need to be taken down a notch. The sensitive ones need some encouragement to take on the heavy, heavy burden of Judaism. People in kiruv  love being frum and assume every other man will too, no matter how you portray it. Just give him a Gemara and he'll be happy. That's a bad assumption. For many, it's a difficult life and an overwhelming one to take on. Aside from the massive financial burden, just consider the rules concerning sex. Wow! Talk about being unfair to one gender. Furthermore, BTs are at the bottom of frum society. It can be very depressing to go from feeling like a hotshot at Yale to being the underclass in the frum world where even your kids can't marry into the mainstream. You want to add to that bad feeling by making men seem like the bottom gender too? It turns many off. It breaks up many a marriage. It's very short-sighted. It also shows a misunderstanding of women, who don't want to see themselves as better. That's a male trait actually - competitiveness. Much of this woman as better stuff is what men in kiruv think women want to hear.

Whose Day is More Spiritual

The woman does chesed all day long. The man tries to make money in a yucky, competitive office. Whose day is more spiritual? According to the contemporary notion of mitzvos as fixers of spiritual deficiencies, does this mean that the woman is less spiritual and needs all day mitzvos to fix herself up? The lies crash in on each other once again.

The lies all crash into each other.

How can one say simultaneously that women are exempt from positive time bound commandments because they are spiritually superior to men and that the women's role is just as holy as the men's? If you are going to say that women don't need the mitzvos then their role must be a less holy one, almost by definition. In other words, men need these mitzvos for a boost. Thus, the woman's job is not as spiritual as it doesn't give a boost. Thus, to tell women that their role is just as spiritual conflicts with the idea that they are more spiritual and don't "need" the boost. Now you see why they want to put on tefillin. This is where flattery gets you. The lies all crash into each other.

The fact is that while women don't do positive time bound commandments they do something else: chesed. Doesn't chesed produce spirituality? It's not as if the women go and play tennis.

אגרות משה (אורח חיים ו:ב.ה)

אגרות משה (אורח חיים ו:ב.ה): מעיר על מה שפירש רש"י שאשה שפחה לבעלה כעבד
 ]ועיין ברש"י [מנחות מג:] שפירש בפירוש ראשון על הקושיא היינו אשה, דאשה נמי שפחה לבעלה כעבד לרבו. ולולא דמסתפינא הייתי אומר שצריך למחקו דח"ו לרש"י לומר דברי הבל כזה, דמן התורה הא ליכא שום שעבוד על האשה לבעלה חוץ מתשמיש, ולענין תשמיש הוא משועבד לה יותר דהא עליו איכא גם איסור לאו, ורבנן שתיקנו שמעשה ידיה לבעלה הא  כנגד זה חייב במזונות ואינה מחוייבת לעשות רק עניני הבית ולא עבודת שדה ומעט עשיה בצמר שהיא מלאכה קלה ממלאכות שדרכן של בנות העיר בזה, עיין בש"ע אהע"ז ריש סיי פ,' והמזונות מחוייב שלא לגרוע מכפי דרך משפחתה ודרך משפחתו ובכל אופן  לא פחות מכפי שהוא אוכל, וכן שמחוייב בכסות לפי  מנהג בנות העיר ולפי דרך המשפחות שלו ושלה  דעולה עמו ואינה יורדת עמו ומחוייב לכבדה ואינו  יכול לילך מביתו בלא רשותה רק למלאכתו הידוע לה,  והבעל אדרבה מחוייב לעשות כל המלאכות שצריך האדם לפרנסה כלשון שתיקנו לכתוב בכתובה, ואף להשכיר עצמו סברי התוסי בשם רי אליהו בכתובות  דף ס"ג ד"ה באומר שהוא מחוייב, ונמצא שאדרבה  הוא יותר עבד לה מכפי שהיא שפחתו

Some Issues with the book Why Should I Stand Behind the Mechitzah if I Could Be a Prayer Leader?

This Shabbos I came across the book "Why Should I Stand Behind the Mechitzah if I Could Be a Prayer Leader?" Certainly, explaining Torah to non-observant woman is a daunting task, one that gets harder by the decade no doubt. The author is to commended for her efforts and the many interesting ideas in the book.

However, I did want to comment on the explanation offered for the exemption of women from time bound commandments. I realize that it has become common in kiruv world to explain men's obligation in those commandments as being due to spiritual deficiency in men, but this appears to conflict with classic sources on the matter. R' Moshe Feinstein explains that obligation in commandments stems from one's possession of holiness. He notes that men and women are equal in holiness and that women have the necessary holiness to be obligated. However, the Torah exempts them for reasons of household duties. (Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim, IV, 49)

The book cites the reason of taking care of children in the name of the Abudraham. The Abrudraham actually says that the Torah exempts the woman to make peace between her and her husband. Since the wife is in the husband's domain, he could direct her to household activities that conflict with the performance of those mitzvos. Just as Hashem allows his name to be erased for the sake of peace in the matter of the Sotah waters, He allows the exemption from mitzvos for peace in the home. Raising children may be part of the reason, but the larger part is being under the authority of the husband, a part of a Torah view of marriage that the book in general appears not to recognize.

The book also cites the Maharal as saying that men are obligated in Torah study and mitzvos to combat their aggressiveness. The Maharal actually doesn't mention mitzvos in his comments on male aggressiveness. He only mentions Torah study. (Drosh Al HaTorah 27) Certainly, combating male aggressiveness is not the only reason for Torah study. It's one reason. As for mitzvos, the Maharal says that men are obligated because they are more spiritual than women. He explains this using the philosophical concepts of tzurah and chomer. Tzurah is spiritual form. Chomer is physicality. Spiritual form gives spiritual shape to physicality. The Maharal compares the male to tzurah and the female to chomer. As the positive time-bound commandments also constitute tzurah, men are obligated in them. (Tiferes Israel 4) Elsewhere, the Maharal says that mitzvos are a reflection of Hashem. Since men are more b'tzelem Elokim, they are obligated in more mitzvos. (Chidushei Agados, Makkos 23b) I don't recommend sharing these comments of the Maharal with the public. However, if you are going to present his reasons for the obligation of men and the exemption of women, these are the reasons he gives.

The book did not give the reason of the Magen Avraham. He says that women are exempt because their yetzer tov is smaller and if obligated they likely would not comply. (Zi'es Ra'anan on Yalkut Shimoni, Shmuel 1:1).

In my estimation, the explanations of 20th century gadolim are best fit for the contemporary public. They include R' Moshe Feinstein, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and R' Avidgor Miller. All say that men and women are equal and the exemption is due to our having different roles. While this book in some places describes men and women as being equal (which is better than many English books on this topic) it resorts to apologetics and the disparaging portrayal men in its explanation of the exemption, as I have tried to explain. So while the book makes a noble effort to move people from feminism to Torah, it does fall short in this regard.

The book offers also a peculiar presentation of obligations regarding marital relations. The book says that neither sex may punish the other by withholding sex but that there is not an obligation on the woman similar to onah. This is not correct. While the Torah obligation of onah falls only on the man, the Rambam says that not only should the wife not punish him by withholding but that she should respond to him "whenever he wants." (Hilchos Ishos 15:18). I think it's fair to surmise that the Torah makes a specific commandment regarding women's sexual needs because they can be quite subtle. A man's are so obvious that a commandment is not necessary. However, a male's need is in many respects a more serious matter since the male is burdened with the difficult issur against spilling seed, a sin the kitzur Shulchan Aruch calls the worst of a sins.

According to Your Will

“You have made me according to Your Will. That means I have a great function in life. Someday I’ll be a mother, I’ll raise up Jewish children, I’ll be a creator of human lives to serve Hashem.”

R’ Avigdor Miller, Q&A 2 (Columbus Publications, 2013) p. 265.

Step down a step to marry a wife

“Step down a step to marry a wife (Yevomos 63a) as follows: “It means it’s advisable that your wife should always look up to you.” That’s why Hakodosh Boruch Hu made women shorter than men, that’s the truth. Now, in order that your wife should look up to you, you have to be superior to your wife. Suppose your wife comes from a big, aristocratic family, and you're from a family of nobodies, it’s going to haunt you all your life; she might bring it up too. Therefore it’s better to marry somebody who is less aristocratic.”

Thursday Nights with Rabbi Miller, Vol. 2, p. 336, tape #491.

Q. Why Don’t Girls Wear Yarmulkas?

Q. Why Don’t Girls Wear Yarmulkas?

A. Let me ask you: Why do men wear yarmulkes? The answer is because Hakadosh Baruch Hu declared, "Atem tehiyu Ii mamleches kohanim ve'goy kadosh," the Jewish people is to be a nation of exalted Kohanim. As we are well aware, a cap was among the four begadim that the Kohanim were required to wear; it was called a para hamigvaos. It is for this reason that we, too, wear yarmulkes and hats on our heads - to remind ourselves that we are a nation of Kohanim. In ancient times, it wasn't necessary to wear a yarmulke, for little time had elapsed since Hashem had uttered His eternal declaration. Each and every Jew identified fully with this concept and viewed himself as a Kohen. But as the generations progressed and hundreds of years passed by, there were some Jews that began to forget their status as Kohanim. On account of this, Jews began to place yarmulkes on their heads as reminders. In the morning, we recite the berachah "Oter Yisrael be'tifarah," thanking Hashem for crowning us with splendor. This berachah refers to the head coverings worn by Jewish men. Notice that the words tifarah and "para" migvaos share the same root. This is because the yarmulkes and hats that we don each day are meant to be reminders of our status as Kohanim and servants of Hashem! By wearing a yarmulke we show that we are yirei Shamayim and loyal servants of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

It is important for girls to know that leadership rests in the hands of their husbands. This is a very important lesson! Let us think about this for a moment: As we know, men are commanded to perform mitzvos asei she'haz'man grama, time-bound mitzvos. Women, on the other hand, are not required to perform these mitzvos. What is the reason for this difference? The answer is that women have other important obligations to tend to, which exempt her from these commandments. A woman must know that she is a briah shel chessed, she has been created for the purpose of performing chessed. Being a wife and mother is a very significant role, and it requires her to be selfless and totally dedicated to performing chessed! It takes a woman's entire effort to succeed in being an efficient mother and wife. Investing her abilities in raising children is very time consuming but is a tremendous zechus for her! The Gemara goes so far as to tell us that the zechus of a woman is greater than the zechus of a man. Why is that? Because on occasion a man will do a certain mitzvah for the sake of kavod, in order to gain prestige. Women, however, don't have any chance to show off, as they are always in their homes and tending to important things. It is for this reason that the zechus of a woman is greater than that of a man, and it therefore stands to reason that a man has to work much harder in order to be found zocheh in the eyes of Hashem. Now, of course, a woman is considered kadosh, holy; every Jew is a kadosh. But she has a different role than a man, and she must realize that. Don't try to be an Orthodox feminist and do all of the same things that men do! Your job is to be a kosher Jewish woman who serves Hashem in the way that He intended! You must get married, have children, and raise them in the derech haTorah that they should grow to be decent frum Jews! What a tremendous accomplishment that would be! If you do this, you will one day sit on a golden throne in Gan Eden and reap a reward that is no less than any man! Just do it the way a woman is supposed to do it, that's all. Just remember: A man puts on a yarmulke or a hat in order to resemble a Kohen who served Hashem in the Beis Hamikdash. A woman also has a beis hamikdash - her home. In that beis hamikdash, she needn't wear a yarmulke - her snood is good enough! This is a woman's role in mamleches kohanim, and it is Hakadosh Baruch Hu's assurance that if a woman serves Him like she is supposed to, she will receive as great a share in Olam Haba as any man.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller Speaks, pp. 271-3

Maharal Deroshos Al Hatorah 27

"However, from this aspect the men need to toil and struggle in Torah without rest night and day. This is why the verse says “tell the sons of Israel,” a phrasing harsh like sinews (the root of the word sinew is related to the word to tell) that invokes the great toil (of Torah study). However, the women are spoken to in a gentle language because they don’t need this so much. Nevertheless, they (the women) are better fit for the divine reward due to their tranquility."

Q&A: Thursday Nights with Rabbi Miller

Q: If tzitizis and teffillin are so beneficial, why don't women use them? And what do they have instead?

A: The truth. is women do have it, because when men put tzitzis and tefillin, they're not putting it on for themselves. That’s absolutely not true. Every father puts on tzitzis and tefllin for all of his children and for his wife, too. There's no question that tzitzis and tefillin are the property of the Am Yisroel. But, more precisely, the family shares in all the mitzvos. So while he's putting on tzitzis and tefillin in the shull, let's say, and his wife is taking care of the children at home, somebody has to remain at home - he couldn't go to the synagogue if she weren't home. There's no question that it’s her tzitzis and her tefillin. That's the way to understand it. It's silly otherwise! And when he comes to study Torah in the evening, who will babysit? And, therefore, she has one hundred percent partnership in all that the does.

Q&A: Thursday Nights with Rabbi Miller, pp. 189-190.

Is there a difference between the neshamah of a man and a woman?

Is there a difference between the neshamah of a man and a woman?

When it comes to the actual makeup of the neshamah there's no difference, whatsoever. But when it comes to a person's role in perfecting that neshamah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu has given each individual a different way and opportunity to go about doing so. For example, when a woman gets married and dedicates her life to her family, to someone other than herself, she is transforming her very nature. If a mother would retain her selfishness, it would be impossible for her to function successfully in her role. She has her children to worry about; sometimes they may not be feeling well, and it is she who will be responsible for tending to them. She has to prepare food for her family, and they rely upon her for many other things as well. She has to carry a child within her and eventually nurse that child. In short, she has dedicated her life to others. But in order for a mother to be able to perfect her neshamah, she mustn't merely do "acts of kindness" like the gentiles do. Rather, her chessed should be with the intention of serving Hashem! This brings Hakadosh Baruch Hu a great amount of satisfaction, and He therefore exclaims, "By assisting others, you are helping My people and serving Me in a form that is most desirous." Imagine what a great accomplishment it is to bring up future servants of Hashem! This is what Chavah exclaimed when she bore Kayin, "Kanisi ish es Hashem," I have acquired a man - a son - not alone, but with Hashem! Giving birth to children and then raising them so that they will one day be servants of Hashem is an extremely important achievement for her neshamah, and it goes a long way in earning it the perfection that it needs. A woman is not expected to devote her hours to Torah learning, nor is she expected to meditate upon Torah ideas. She can certainly do so if she wishes, but her main area of achievement will be in transforming her neshamah through acts of chessed intended to benefit Hashem's people. A man, however, has to perfect his neshamah in a different way. While a man neither gives birth to children nor nurses babies, there are still multitudes of ways through which he can earn perfection. A man must go to work to earn a living, and there are very many nisyonos that he will encounter throughout his day. An entire section of Shulchan Aruch was written to deal with the laws that apply when one has to compete with another for a livelihood! There's a very great perfection a man can acquire when out making a living! Of course a man is also required to dedicate a part of his day to Torah learning, and other mitzvos that a woman wouldn’t have time to perform because of her day to day responsibilities. We see, therefore, that a man and woman secure perfection for their respective neshamahs in different ways.

Rabbi Avidgor Miller Speaks, pp. 245-246.

Who Leads?

“This will-subordination of the wife to the husband is a necessary condition of the unity which man and wife should form together. The subordination cannot be the other way about, since the man as zachar has to carry forward the divine and human messages which through every marriage are to be a living force in the household, and to which the husband and wife are in union to devote their forces. Just as the first command of God though addressed to the man was given through him for the woman as well, just as in consequence Adam should not have thrown over the command of God for the sake of Eve but Eve ought to have subjected her desire to the will of God as expressed to her though Adam, so thenceforward the husband was to be responsible for the task imposed upon man by God and to carry it out in his marriage and household.” R' Hirsch, Judaism Eternal, vol. II, p 58.

Chukim and Mishpatim

Generally, hukkim seem to be irrational and, if not for the 

Divine imperative, we would never observe them. We assume 

a Divine purpose and value, but we cannot fathom them. The 

mishpatim, on the other hand, reflect cultural and humanistic 

considerations. Yet the force of the Divine command applies to 

both, demanding observance and unqualified commitment. We 

intend to analyze the nature of the hok and also to explain why 

the mishpat needs the support of the same Divine imperative 

as the [10k. Would oursocial conscience not be sufficient motiva- 

tion for the mishpat?

Analyzing the Hok. Rashi cites a Rabbinic comment on the 

Parah Adumah rite: "It is a decree ordained by Me. You have 

no right to question it" (Num. 19:2). This suggests that the 

hok can be defined as an absolute norm and an ultimate com- 

mand, demanding total submission without reservations. It is to 

be affirmed even if "Satan and the nations of the world taunt 

Israel," ridiculing its irrationality. The observant Jew accepts 

the Torah even as a patient follows the prescription of his doc- 

tor, taking complex medications and submitting to required 

surgical procedures. We may seek to understand and make all 

possible inquiries, but ultimately we accept it on faith. The Lord, 

Creator and Healer of all flesh, undoubtedly knows what is best 

for our bodies and souls as well as what is harmful to them. 

Reflections of the Rav, p. 100

R’ Joseph B. Soloveitchik

Explaining R' Hirsch - RABBI YOEL CHONON WENGER Montreal, Quebec

Letter to the Jewish Observer

To the Editor:

The November issue featured a letter regarding the reason for the exemption of women from many mitzvos. The writer disagrees with Rabbi Yisroel ben Reuven's rejection of the idea that "women are higher spiritually than men and are not in need of [timebound] commandments;” citing Rabbi S. R. Hirsch as a source for this concept. Rabbi Hirsch actually states that "women have greater fervor and more faithful enthusiasm for their G-d given calling" and are less at risk than men, who must go out in professional and business pursuits. This is no way stating that women are spiritually superior. (He does not even say that women have more fervor and enthusiasm than men; he states that they have proportionally more zeal for their assigned tasks.)

Rabbi Hirsch is explaining that women are naturally endowed with emuna peshuta (unquestioning faith), and a woman's role of living a sheltered life of v'hinei Sora ba'ohel (Sarah, in the tent) is removed from the many temptations that face man. Rabbi Hirsch explains that a woman's position in a Torah life protects her from the temptations that abound and the risks that time-bound mitzvos were given to protect against. Therefore, she does not require those mitzvos. These characteristics should not be confused with spirituality. This is similar to the position of a king who has special mitzvos to protect him from arrogance and pride; his role is such that he requires the protection of additional mitzvos. Would anyone dream of saying that the king is lower spiritually than the rest of Klal Yisroel because of his need for additional mitzvos?

With the above we can catch a glimpse of the perfection of the creation and the unity of Torah that guides it. The Abudraham explains that women are exempt from time-bound mitzvos so that mitzvos should not interfere with their family obligations. In other words, their main obligation and profession is to assist their spouse and raise a family. The Creator planned things accordingly, and gave them emotional and psychological characteristics to help them fulfill their purpose. Their emuna peshuta helps them prepare a proper environment for the next generation. Their enthusiasm and maternal instincts protect them from the desire to leave the home. Those same characteristics make them less susceptible to the problems that confront men which the constant reminders of certain mitzvos alleviates. The Creator endowed them with their specific makeup so that they should not require certain mitzvos, because they would not be able to fulfill them without encroaching on their primary mission. As we become aware of these insights in creation and its purpose, we can only marvel: Ma tabu ma'asechaHashem-How vast are Your deeds, Oh G-d!

RABBI YOEL CHONON WENGER Montreal, Quebec

The Jewish Observer, February 1997

In some matters of a personal and family nature

In Proverbs (31), Solomon extolled the exemplary woman
who "looks well after her household" and "whose husband is
known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land."
In some matters of a personal and family nature, Sarah's spiri-
tual discernment is praised as being superior to Abraham's.
When her husband hesitated about sending away Hagar and
Ishmael because of Ishmael's baneful influence upon her son
Isaac, God said to Abraham, "All that Sarah says to you, listen
to her voice" (Gen. 21:12).6 Rashi adds, "We may infer that
Abraham was inferior to Sarah in respect of prophecy. "

R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik

(Man of Faith in the Modern World, p. 84).

In their spiritual natures, they were equally worthy

"The foremost distinguishing characteristic bestowed upon 

man is his Divine image, his tzelem Elohim, which denotes 

particular qualitative endowments, such as a moral sense, free 

will, and intellect. Man partakes of these attributes within 

human limitations, while God's representation of these qualities 

is absolute. Maimonides embodied man's likeness to God pri- 

marily in terms of his intellect (Guide 1: 1). This Divine gift was 

given to both men and women. "And God created man with His 

image. In the image of God, He created him; male and female 

He created them" (Gen. 1:27).7 In their spiritual natures, they 

were equally worthy." 

R. Joseph Soloveitchik 

(Man of Faith in the Modern World, p. 84). 

Both worthy of communing with God

"Man and woman are both worthy of communing with God, the highest form of human perfection and self-fulfillment. However, the Halakhah has discriminated between axiological equality pertaining to their Divine essence and metaphysical uniformity at the level of the existential personal experience. Man and woman are different personae, endowed with singular qualities and assigned distinct missions in life."

Joseph B. Soloveitchik
Family Redeemed p. 72

Equality in rank

In the word איש and אשה. (man and a female man I.L.) lay the guarantee for the equality in rank 

and mutually complementing calling of Man and Woman. As long as man and woman were איש
and אשה. there was no need for man to be emancipated from woman nor woman from man, 

neither could make the other into a slave nor yet into a god or goddess. The first who altered this
designation - as indeed our sages remark, in no other language are man and woman designated
by words coming from the same root and so regarded from the same trend of thought - brought

it about that one man would yoke his woman to the plough while the other would throw himself at
her feet. (R' Samson Raphael Hirsch, Genesis 11 :58)

Note: I.L. is the editor Isaac Levy 

Full equality of status

"The change from singular to plural, which we have tried to reproduce in our translation of this first mention of man and woman in the story of the creation, already indicates the full equality of status, nay, the inner unity between man and woman in the conception and the destiny of "man formed in the image of God." This term embraces both sexes. Only man and woman together make up the idea of "man", and God created both of them alike without intermediary, and with the same conscious effort of will power."

R' Samson Raphael Hirsch
Judaism Eternal II, p. 51

The Role of the Male

"The male sex is zachar, it is the depository of the Divine revelations and the spiritual attainments of the human race. To it has been entrusted the zicharon, the tradition of the human race as it has developed, in him is formed the spiritual chain which links together the beginning and the end of the human race; the male sex is the zachar, the bearer of history. Its activities do not belong wholly to the present moment, it has to think of the tasks and traditions received from God and from the past, and from the union of these with the events and conditions of the present to produce its own activities which carry on the chain of history further and further to perpetuity."

R' Hirsch
Judaism Eternal, II

Maharal, that spirituality is primarily grounds for obligating a person in commandments, not exempting them

“...connection to Hashem comes through the commandments. The man is better fit for this connection. The woman is more physical and her level is not as high as is the man’s.” (Tiferes Israel 28)

Awake My Glory (by Rav A. Miller)

Awake My Glory (by Rav A. Miller):

1095. There cannot be two kings. The marriage relationship is twofold. 1) The wife is submissive. This is not only Jewish but natural. There can be no harmony when there are two commanders. Without this indispensable condition, the home is disordered. "Arrogance is unbecoming a woman" - Megillah 14B. For a man it is not an ornament, but for a woman it is as if she wore a mustache. 2) The second, but equally essential foundation: a man must always demonstrate respect for his wife. This is "the way of Jewish men that... honor and support their wives in truth" as stated in the Jewish marriage contract. "He honors her more than his own body" - Yevamos 62B, Bava Metzia 59A. He is the captain, but she is the First Mate whose counsel is respected. She cannot be made a doormat, she need not beg for money, she deserves some assistance in the house chores, and the husband sides with her against his kin. He must express frequent appreciation and give words of encouragement, and he should remember his wife from time to time with gifts, big or little. Husband and wife should always say "Please" and "Thank You" and never forget to be always polite to each other.

1105. Before marriage it is imperative to ascertain the young woman's attitude toward feminism and "women's rights" and careerism. It is out of the question to build a Jewish home, or any home whatsoever, if the prospective wife has been tainted with these anti-natural and anti-social preachings. The woman's career and happiness are in her home: absolutely and entirely. Her husband, her children and her home are the expressions of her personality and her Free Will, and they are her chief forms of serving G-d. The modern orthodox "Rebbetzin" with a college degree and a job in secular professions is a misfit even in a non-Jewish home. The ideas of revolt against a husband's authority and the unrealistic dream of equal leadership in the family, lead only to unhappiness and failure, and very frequently to divorce. A Beth Jacob girl should be wed soon after or before graduation. Every day after she leaves the Beth Jacob marks another step away from idealism, for the street and the office and the secular school have an unfailing effect which increases from day to day. It is never a simple matter to achieve harmony in the home; effort and wisdom and fear of G-d are required. But with the additional burden of feminism, all problems become aggravated; and like all the unnatural and anti-social affectations of the libertarians this leads only to failure and unhappiness.

from http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/why-was-woman-created

ד"א למה לנשים תחלה שהן מזדרזות במצות

ד"א למה לנשים תחלה שהן מזדרזות במצות

ויקרא אליו ה' מן ההר לאמר בזכות ההר ואין ההר אלא אבות שנאמר (מיכה ז) שמעו הרים את ריב ה' ומשה עלה אל האלהים עלה בענן וירד בענן וזכות אבות עולה ויורדת עמו. כה תאמר לבית יעקב אלו הנשים א"ל אמור להם ראשי דברים שהם יכולות לשמוע ותגיד לבני ישראל אלו האנשים א"ל אמור להם דקדוקי דברים שהם יכולין לשמוע. ד"א למה לנשים תחלה שהן מזדרזות במצות. ד"א כדי שיהו מנהיגות את בניהן לתורה. א"ר תחליפא דקיסרין אמר הקב"ה כשבראתי את העולם לא צויתי אלא לאדם הראשון ואחר כך נצטוית חוה ועברה וקלקלה את העולם עכשיו אם איני קורא לנשים תחלה הן מבטלות את התורה לכך נאמר כה תאמר לבית יעקב ור' יוחנן אמר כה תאמר לבית יעקב אלו סנהדרין שנאמר (ישעיה ב) בית יעקב לכו ונלכה באור ה' וידבר אלהים את כל הדברים האלה לאמר בטכסיס של מלכים נהג הקב"ה עם ישראל שנאמר (שיר ד) אתי מלבנון כלה למה כך בזכות שאמרו 

נעשה ונשמע:

My Own Theory

In the spirit of that kind of explanation and with due respect to the warnings to use traditional sources for interpretation, I’d like to offer what I call the populist explanation, ie. one that that seems to emerge naturally in people’s minds when considering this subject without prompting by apologists. And I’ll note that I’m clearly labeling this explanation as such. The explanation is this: men have a masculine spirituality and women have a feminine spirituality. There’s nothing radical about that idea. Think of the qualities that we generally associate with each gender. Women tend to be more social. I know men who could sit at a table with people for two hours and not say a peep. I don’t know any women like that. I have gone on business trips with men and barely exchanged a word. In attempting to engage them, I have felt that I was causing them pain. With female colleagues it’s the opposite, not engaging them in conversation seems to cause them pain.  Women tend to be more preoccupied with relationships. They also tend to be more nurturing. Appropriately, women are uniquely assigned and/or focus on a slew of mitzvos that go along with these leanings -– mitzvos such of taking care of children, being helpmates, doing chesed, and lighting candles on Friday night to foster and symbolize peace in the home. Women are more concerned with their appearances and interested in their bodies. Women will sit and talk about clothing and myriad subjects connected with their bodies for hours. Men hardly ever do this. I’m not just talking about traditional women but women from all circles. Hence, they have the mitzvos of niddah and tznius. Women tend to enjoy cooking. I’m referring even to the women I knew in graduate school for economics, one of whom used to frequently cook fancy dinners for her classmates. Hence, they have the mitzvah of preparing meals for the family and taking Challah. Men like to go outdoors and they like to build things. Look at their mitzvos, many of which involve simply getting out of the house to attend minyan or to sit in a succah. Men like to build their succos -– not so most women. I have seen single moms hire men to build their succos for them.  Men are more inclined to logical thinking -– hence the mitzvah of Torah study, the bulk of which involves the study of law. Likewise tefillin, which sit on the head and the biceps, symbolize the channelling of mind and muscle for avodah. I’m not talking about IQ and SAT scores, but rather the way people go about their lives. One sees these traits even in children. These seem like mere cliches, but they have a lot of truth to them, even half a century into the feminist movement. Male spirituality is more super-charged, more aggressive, more high flying. For this reason, it can be harder to get off the ground, but when it goes it really soars. As I proposed earlier, the extra mitzvahs may function to contain and channel the spiritual energy. Female spirituality is more intuitive, more hidden, more automatic, and more stable. The mitzvos for women fit with that. We need both types of people. They need each other. Neither has to catch up to other. Rather, they operate in separate realms and we should do our best to keep it that way rather than mixing it all up by ranking them as if they are of the same type. They are different: “Male and female, He Created them.”

But all of that is just conjecture. Ultimately, the exemption of women from positive time-bound commandments is a Chok, a decree of the verses. God alone knows the true reasons.

Assorted

אין אשה אלא לנוי because אין אשה אלא לבנים.
כי הוא אמר ויהי זו אשה, הוא צוה ויעמוד אלו הבנים.
Ksuvos 9b: תני ר' חייא אין אשה אלא ליופי אין אשה אלא לבנים ותני ר' חייא אין אשה אלא לתכשיטי אשה
R' Chiya taught: "A woman exists only for beauty, a woman exists only for sons/children" and R' Chiya taught: "A woman exists only for jewelery".
Tanah Dvei Eliyau Rabbah 9: אין לך אשה כשרה בנשים אלא אשה שהיא עושה רצון בעלה
"There is no kosher woman except one who does the will of her husband".
Gemara - Shabbos 152a: אשה חמת מלא צואה ופיה מלא דם והכל רצין אחריה
"A woman is an urn filled with excrement, and her "mouth" filed with blood, and everyone runs after her".
Gemara - Bava Metzia 59a: אמר רב כל ההולך בעצת אשתו נופל בגיהנם
"Any (man) who follows his wife's advice falls into Gehinnom".

shlishi Joseph

Maharal, Tiferes Yisrael, Perek 28

Free Translation:

Rav Tachlifa says, it is fitting to proceed with women first at the receiving of Torah. The reason

for this stems from the fact that connection to Hashem comes through the commandments. The man is

better fit for this connection. The woman is more physical and her level is not as high as is the man’s.

Therefore Adam HaRishon was commanded first since he was closer to Hashem. The woman’s greater

distance from Hashem led to her initiation of the first sin and destruction upon the world. Because her

connection is lacking, she caused sin which greater damaged the connection. The first man’s connection

was also not complete as was Israel’s at the receiving of Torah. They received a complete connection.

Since the connection at Gan Eden was not complete, therefore the man went first and afterward the

woman.

But Israel received a complete connection when Torah was given to them. This is demonstrated

by the case of Adam who received only a portion of the commandments and therefore his connection was

incomplete. Because of the complete connection established at the receiving of Torah, it was safe to

approach the women first. The women are not at a level as high as are the men, but the connection at

Sinai was complete. Afterwards the man was commanded, his connection and his level are higher than

that of the women. Therefore the command of the women preceded the men. The receiving of Torah by

the women shows that this reception of all of Israel was complete. And this complete reception is a

greater thing. Therefore she is mentioned first.


Explanation:

Commandments solidify the connection of people to Hashem. However, a person must be

equipped to handle the connection. Only a portion of commandments were given in Gan Eden, so the

connection of man to Hashem made at that time was incomplete. Since Adam was naturally better

connected to Hashem than was Chava, he was better able to constructively manage the incomplete

connection made at that time. Chava’s initiation of the first sin is proof that her connection was lacking

something that Adam’s did not lack. At Har Sinai, a full set of commandments was given and therefore a

complete connection to Hashem was being formed. Under such conditions, the danger of giving Torah to

women first was satisfactorily eliminated. The women are still at a lower spiritual level than are the men,

but there was no danger at Har Sinai of their being at a lower level leading to destruction.

With the danger eliminated, it was better to approach the women first for various other reasons.

These reasons include their enthusiasm for commandments, to encourage them to lead their children in

the ways of Torah, and to emphasize to them their reward for enabling their husband’s Torah learning.

The enthusiasm of women mentioned in the first reason is an individual personality trait. It is not a

comprehensive desire for commandments, but rather an initial desire. The Radal explains that this

enthusiasm wears off when obstacles to the commandments appear (Radal on Midrash Rabbah, Shemos

28:2:4). The third reason relates to a fear that the women would prevent their husbands from accepting

Torah since the women may not see what gain they have from Torah since only men are commanded to

learn it. Speaking to the women first was a way of demonstrating to them their equal share in their

husband’s reward for learning.

Literal Translation:

Rav Tachlifa says, it is fitting to proceed with women first. And this is because the decree and the

command from Hashem, may He be blessed, to man who receives it, is the covenant and the connection

of Hashem to man, who received the decree. And this is explained in many places. And since the man is

more fitting to the covenant and the connection with Hashem, may He be blessed, since the woman is

more physical, and the level of the woman is not like that of the man, therefore, the man was commanded

first since his level was close to Hashem, may He be blessed. And because of this, the woman destroyed

since the connection of the woman to Hashem, may He be blessed, is not like that of the man. Behold,

her connection is lacking. And since the connection is lacking, it came from this destruction that damages

the connection. And this thing is specifically by the man who did not receive the complete connection

like all of Israel who received a complete connection. Therefore with regard to the man was the

connection according to his level, the man went first and the woman after. All is according to the level of

the person.

Rather, Israel received a complete connection when Torah was given to them. And the proof of

this is that Adam HaRishon received only a portion of the commandments and therefore the connection

was not complete but Israel, since the Torah given to them was compete, their connection to Hashem was

complete. Therefore it is fitting for the woman to be commanded first at the receiving of Torah since this

thing was a complete connection. The woman is not at such a level when she received the decree but it

was a complete connection. And afterwards the man was commanded his connection and his level are

greater than that of the woman. Therefore the command of the woman preceded the man. The receiving

of Torah by the woman shows this that the reception of all of Israel was complete. And this is a greater

thing. Therefore she is mentioned first.

A Letter from HaRav HaGaon Moshe Feinstein zt’l about Feminism

A Letter from HaRav HaGaon Moshe Feinstein zt’l about Feminism

Literal translation of a letter written by HaRav HaGoan Moshe Feinstein zt"l concerning feminism and the exemption of women from positive time bound commandments. (Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim IV #49) (The letter is addressed to a Rav in Boston who had written on behalf of his congregants).

Regarding the distinguished (Jewish) ladies who are fighting along with women of the nations of the world in their (social) movement. These (Jewish) ladies are observant of Torah and want to bring their fight to matters of relevance to Jewish law. Some (of these ladies) pray with tallaisim and so on. They seek my view in this matter and how the rabbi of the shul should handle the matter.

Firstly, you must know that it is an essential matter of faith in our Torah that the written and oral Torah was given by The Holy One Himself at Mount Sinai through Moshe Rabbanu, o"h. It is impossible to change even one point (of the Torah) whether to be more strict or to be more lenient. But we were commanded that when there is a time to establish precautionary measures, it is incumbent on the Sanhedrin and the sages of the Torah to do so, by prohibiting certain things. They also may obligate others. They (the sages) must make it very clear that these are rabbinical obligations. Since our dispersion to foreign lands, we lack the power (to make such enactments). However, the wise men of every region (have the power) to make enactments only for their region and only for a short time.

In view of this, the exemption of women from positive time bound commandments is a (decree) of the Torah. Also, the Rabbis never obligated women (in these commandments) since there is no reason to do so. Indeed, there is a reason to exempt women from these commandments specifically for the reasons that the Torah exempts them.

And besides the reasons for the Torah which are unknown to regular people and to the great scholars, and we are required to believe that there are great reasons of Hashem who gave the Torah, (besides this), there are (non-ultimate) reasons revealed to everyone. (In the matter of the exemption of women from positive time bound mitzvahs) the average woman is not wealthy and has responsibility to raise sons and daughters. This (task) is most important work for Hashem and His Torah and so Hashem made each species so that the woman should raise the offspring. Humans are no exception. The nature of women enables them to raise children. Along those lines, it (the burden) was made easier on the women by not requiring them to learn Torah and to perform positive time bound mitzvahs.

(However) even if the order of the world were to change and all women were wealthy all the time and it were possible to give over the children to men and women (to raise them as is done) in our country, the Torah's law cannot change and neither can that of the Rabbis. It is useless to fight this. Even with the agreement of the entire world, there is no power to change (the Torah) one iota. The women who stubbornly wage war to make such changes are committing heresy.

The Rambam, in chapter three, law number eight, of the Laws on Repentance, says the following: "Three (people) are called heretics: The one who denies even one word spoken by Moshe Rabbainu, the one who denies the explanation of the oral Torah, and the one who switches one word (of Torah) for another. These are heretics and their judgment shall be a forfeiture of their place in the next world.” According to the words of the Rambam, to say that the Creator switches around commandments and all the more so that men can switch around the commandments -- is to say that the Torah is not eternal. And the whole reason (it is called heresy) is that they are rebelling against many verses which teach us of the eternity of the Torah, and so writes the Kesef Mishnah.

Women are permitted to perform (certain) commandments for which they are not obligated and receive divine reward for such performance. And also according to the view of Tosfos, (women) are permitted to make a blessing (on such commandments) as is our custom. (It is our custom also for women to be permitted) to fulfill the commandments of shofar and luluv and to make blessings (on these). Therefore, concerning tzittzit, a woman who wants can dress in a garment not designed for men, as long as this garment has four corners to it, and attach tzittzit to fulfill this commandment.

Concerning the wearing of tfellin, Tosfos writes in Eruvin 96, divray hamaskil: myachal, that (this commandment) should not be performed (by women). Tfellin requires tremendous care to keep the body in (halachic) cleanliness and to focus one's attention. For this reason even men who are obligated in tfellin limit their wearing (of tfellin) from all day to during morning prayers. The Rema holds similarly (Choshen Mishpat, 98:3). Targum Yonason, on the verse: "There should not be a man's clothing on a woman" (holds) that (women should not wear) tzitzit or tfellin since they are garments of men. Tosfos does not believe there to be such a Targum Yonason. This (performance of non-obligatory commandments by a woman) applies only if her soul yearns to perform the commandment even though she is not commanded. (It is another matter) if her intention is to protest against the Holy One and His Torah. Such a posture is not congruent with the performance of a commandment. Indeed, it is a forbidden act and an act of apostasy. Since (such a woman) is trying to amend Torah law.

You should know that all of this (the exemption of women from positive time bound commandments) is not because women are on a lower level of holiness than are men. While obligation in commandments results strictly from one's having holiness, men and women, in that sense, are equal in holiness. All the verses in the Torah regarding holiness refer also to women. (This applies from) the beginning (with) the arrangement to receive the Torah (at Sinai). "You'll be to me a treasure and you'll be to me a holy nation." Exodus 19:6. (The subject of this verse is all of the nation of Israel) as it says "house of Jacob" in referring to the women and "tell to the house of Israel" in referring to the men. Exodus 19:3.

(The references to men and women of all verses regarding holiness extends also after Sinai with) "You'll be for me a people of holiness," parshas Mishpatim, "you'll be holy," parshas Shimini, "holy you'll be and you'll be holy," parshas Kedoshim, and "and a nation of holy people you are to Hashem" parshas Re’eh. Women also (as well as men) are referred to in every mention of holiness.

Therefore women also include in their blessings the words "you have sanctified us with your commandments." (Women do this) even when performing commandments for which they are not obligated. (The exclusion of women from positive time bound commandments) is a leniency made by Hashem for his own reasons and not because of any diminution (regarding the women) Heaven forbid. We explained this earlier.

And concerning the obligations between husband and wife, a husband is obligated to treat his wife with respect and a wife is obligated to treat her husband with respect. (Furthermore) many women were prophetesses and subject to the same laws concerning prophets as were the men (prophets). In many matters, women were praised more than the men by the (written) Torah and by the Rabbis. There is no denigration in their (women's) respect in their exemption from the learning of Torah and positive time-bound commandments. There is no reason to have any gripes.

The distinguished rabbi (of the congregation in question) should explain this every time and be strong and firm in his knowledge that this is all a matter of the Torah and he should correct these women. And after all this if (these women) still stand in their incorrect and stubborn view, (the rabbi) should not allow a single change in the holy customs of Israel.

I end with a blessing for true peace and a good writing and sealing for a good year for the distinguished rabbi and to all that is his, to the whole holy congregation, the men, the women, and the children.